Posted by beermagnet on February 16th, 2009
Answers to clues marked with an asterisk are some of the “pseudo names” used by correspondents to the Eye a few issues ago. It started with a few die-hard footy fans trying to get the name of their team mentioned (e.g. Don Casterovers, R Snell, Ray Throvers etc.), then minority sports, pop music fans and others joined in …
… or that’s how it seemed …
… It is clear now it was a concerted effort by verbal anarchists to inflict homophonic outrage on satirical elements of the stalwart British public. The epidemic spread like, err, a disease with pseudo-commandos leaving the enclave at the end of the letters page and infiltrating other areas such as Pedantry Corner.
They said it would be all over by Christmas, but by then large sections of the letters page were annexed by these pseudo-jackboot-boys. At last Hislop saw the danger and using an editorial WMD banished them. There was a final campaign to mop up resistance on the internet, though some sniping continues to this day.
|1||ABACUS AC inside A BUS|
|9||EGYPTIAN (INEPT GAY)* AInd: movement|
|10||OOMPAH OO (rings),MP,A H[ard]|
|13||JONATHAN JO (Brand, comedian), NATHAN|
|16||MUESLI E[nergy] inside MUSLI[m]|
|17||TESTES E inside TESTS|
|19*||LORD NUMB (BLOND RUM)* AInd: pissed|
|21||HOSPITALISED (PISSHEAD [t]OILE[t])* AInd: beaten up|
|26||NUT-BROWN NUT(idiot) BROWN (PM)|
|27||SHUT DOWN (THUS)* DOWN (depressed) AInd: crunched|
|28||SCHISM C[onservative] HIS (Bloke’s) inside S&M|
|2||BAG OF BONES DD/CD|
|3||COP IT COP (bust) IT (sex)|
|4||SPINACH SPIN (AListair Campbell’s thing) ACH!|
|5/11*||WENDY FATLADYSINGS WENDY (Arty sister) FAT, LAD, Y[en], SING (spill beans), S[enate] I see Obama broke with tradition and started this way instead of ending: ‘America’ My Country Tis Of Thee|
|7||LIME GREEN M.E. (Chronic Fatigue) inside (REELING)* AInd: drunk|
|8||NOAH NO AH|
|12||CLAMP-DOWNS (PM)< inside AD (commercial) all inside CLOWNS|
|14||ASTRONAUT (ANUS ROT)* inside A T[ime] AInd: complication|
|15||NIL Hidden in cunNILingus|
|18||SUPREMO (EURO MPS)* AInd: perversion|
|23/22*||SARAH TONIN (SHARON AINT)* AInd: getting broadcast|
|24/6*||HUGH FFONIUM (HUNG UH IM OFF)* AInd: Badly|
What these correspondents had to say:
… Your decision to continue publishing letters from people who have clearly made up the appended name for a putative comic effect makes me wish for some form of temporary release from the world’s silliness.
… I am very grateful to your organ and the numerous attempts by your readers to cheer me up during the winter months. Unfortunately, it hasn’t worked.
… <censored (due to unfunniness) – almost as bad the one from Arthur ffoulkes-Aycke>
… When will your tedious and silly section on made-up names finally come to an end?
For the record my favourite was this:
… I lay the blame for this epidemic of false names firmly at your door.