Fifteensquared

Never knowingly undersolved.

Private Eye/Cyclops 384 – Pseudo-names

Posted by beermagnet on February 16th, 2009

beermagnet.

Answers to clues marked with an asterisk are some of the “pseudo names” used by correspondents to the Eye a few issues ago. It started with a few die-hard footy fans trying to get the name of their team mentioned (e.g. Don Casterovers, R Snell, Ray Throvers etc.), then minority sports, pop music fans and others joined in …
… or that’s how it seemed …
… It is clear now it was a concerted effort by verbal anarchists to inflict homophonic outrage on satirical elements of the stalwart British public. The epidemic spread like, err, a disease with pseudo-commandos leaving the enclave at the end of the letters page and infiltrating other areas such as Pedantry Corner.
They said it would be all over by Christmas, but by then large sections of the letters page were annexed by these pseudo-jackboot-boys. At last Hislop saw the danger and using an editorial WMD banished them. There was a final campaign to mop up resistance on the internet, though some sniping continues to this day.

Across
1 ABACUS AC inside A BUS
5 WAFFLING WA,F,FLING
9 EGYPTIAN (INEPT GAY)* AInd: movement
10 OOMPAH OO (rings),MP,A H[ard]
13 JONATHAN JO (Brand, comedian), NATHAN
16 MUESLI E[nergy] inside MUSLI[m]
17 TESTES E inside TESTS
19* LORD NUMB (BLOND RUM)* AInd: pissed
21 HOSPITALISED (PISSHEAD [t]OILE[t])* AInd: beaten up
25 MUGABE MUG,ABE
26 NUT-BROWN NUT(idiot) BROWN (PM)
27 SHUT DOWN (THUS)* DOWN (depressed) AInd: crunched
28 SCHISM C[onservative] HIS (Bloke’s) inside S&M
Down
2 BAG OF BONES DD/CD
3 COP IT COP (bust) IT (sex)
4 SPINACH SPIN (AListair Campbell’s thing) ACH!
5/11* WENDY FATLADYSINGS WENDY (Arty sister) FAT, LAD, Y[en], SING (spill beans), S[enate] I see Obama broke with tradition and started this way instead of ending: ‘America’ My Country Tis Of Thee
7 LIME GREEN M.E. (Chronic Fatigue) inside (REELING)* AInd: drunk
8 NOAH NO AH
12 CLAMP-DOWNS (PM)< inside AD (commercial) all inside CLOWNS
14 ASTRONAUT (ANUS ROT)* inside A T[ime] AInd: complication
15 NIL Hidden in cunNILingus
18 SUPREMO (EURO MPS)* AInd: perversion
20 RELATES [p]RELATES
23/22* SARAH TONIN (SHARON AINT)* AInd: getting broadcast
24/6* HUGH FFONIUM (HUNG UH IM OFF)* AInd: Badly

.
What these correspondents had to say:

… Your decision to continue publishing letters from people who have clearly made up the appended name for a putative comic effect makes me wish for some form of temporary release from the world’s silliness.
LORD NUMB

… I am very grateful to your organ and the numerous attempts by your readers to cheer me up during the winter months. Unfortunately, it hasn’t worked.
SARAH TONIN

… <censored (due to unfunniness) – almost as bad the one from Arthur ffoulkes-Aycke>
HUGH FFONIUM

… When will your tedious and silly section on made-up names finally come to an end?
WENDY FATLADYSINGS

For the record my favourite was this:
… I lay the blame for this epidemic of false names firmly at your door.
JACK HUGHES

2 Responses to “Private Eye/Cyclops 384 – Pseudo-names”

  1. Colin Blackburn says:

    There’s a letter to the Eye in the current edition about this crossword. The correspondents are Ford Howne and Juan Across.

  2. beermagnet says:

    They are obviously not defeated.
    Guerrilla action continues on the internet here: http://www.private-eye.co.uk/sections.php?section_link=pseudo_names&amp;

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