Fifteensquared

Never knowingly undersolved.

Cyclops 442: Royal wedding special

Posted by jetdoc on May 9th, 2011

jetdoc.

A topical offering from Cyclops, and a nice antidote to the otherwise sycophantic press coverage which has been so difficult to avoid. 7/26, a tour de force, has to get the vote for clue of the fortnight; I also rather like 23d

Across
8 BY-ELECTION Wavering celebrity on Right deserts — another opportunity to humiliate the Lib Dems?
*(celeb[r]ity on)
9/27 CLUELESS [Geddit?]
There’s no direct clue for this one, making it a sort of &Lit (please don’t argue the finer points of whether it is or isn’t).
11 LIKE A SHOT Fancy a drop of whisky? Willingly!
LIKE = fancy; A SHOT = a drop of whisky. Double definition.
12 ROWED Royal, missing flipping shag, tied knot then fell out
RO = ‘Royal’ minus ‘lay’ reversed (flipping shag); WED = tied knot
13 TROUT Margaret Thatcher ends rather outmoded, interfering old woman!
TR = final letters of ‘Margaret Thatcher’ (aargh!); OUT = rather outmoded
14/18/24 WALK DOWN THE AISLE What’s Kate to do: swallow it? (He, naked, explodes)
Brilliant anagram! *(swallow it he naked), with ‘explodes’ as the anagram indicator.
17/25 STARBUCKS Global brand takes back arses’ money
STAR = rats, reversed; BUCKS = money
22 ORDINARY Right noise stifled by excited royal getting end away everyday
R DIN = right noise; *(roya) = ‘excited royal getting end away’
28 BLUE PETER Oxygen-deprived penis flag?
BLUE = oxygen-deprived; PETER = penis. Blue Peter
29 SO-SO Mediocre, turning extra large — very
OS (outsize) reversed; SO = very
30 WORKING OUT Not an eccentric, Gok Wan in our time — calculating
*(Gok W in our t). ‘Not an’ indicates that you remove ‘an’ before making the letters eccentric, i.e. making the anagram.
Down
1 ABILITY Skill requires ace Clinton failing to climax, having sex with Lewinsky finally
A = ace; BIL[l] = Clinton without his final letter; IT = sex; Y = Lewinsky finally
2 GET KNOTTED Do a Kate and Wills? Piss off!
Double definition (though Chambers doesn’t give this as ‘get married’)
3 MEGASTAR Gates, breaking into computer chips, on the up — “I’m adored by millions!”
*(Gates); in RAM (random access memory) reversed (on the up)
4 ITCHY Feeling an urge to have sex with Conservative hotty? Not excessively so!
IT = sex; C = Conservative; H[ott]Y (minus OTT = ‘excessively so’
5 MORTGAGEE Banker possibly met aggro — screwed last bit of ‘incentive’
*(met aggro e). I knew how this clue worked but, even with all the checking letters in place, took a while to get the answer.
6/19a BLOWPIPE Weapon used by cannabis smoker?
‘Blow’ is one of the many terms used for cannabis.
7/26 WEDDING BELLS Union strikers? They’ll get a hearing by Kate and Wills, etc.
WEDDING = union; BELLS = strikers (presumably in the sense of striking the hour etc., though I’m not sure that the bells themselves are the ‘strikers’ rather than the ‘struck’).
10 TREK Right of centre: Nick’s final journey
TRE = right-hand letters of ‘centre’; K = Nick’s final. Given this week’s election results…
15 OPPOSITION Miliband & co’s much reduced work situation?
OP = reduced work (though not really ‘much’); POSITION = situation
16 STORY-BOOK Idyllically perfect? One like Hague has to be in second reserve!
TORY = one like Hague; S BOOK = second reserve
19 PLAY-PENS Power shag then dashes off — they should restrict the activities of brats
P = power; LAY = shag; PENS = dashes off (in the sense of ‘dashing off a quick letter’)
20 BOMBAST Flop, like Harriet’s last rant
BOMB = flop; AS = like; T = Harriet’s last
21 REGRETS Ultimate in ‘goer’ birds Wills (and Kate) might come to have?
R = ultimate in ‘goer’; EGRETS = birds
23 NOSH Food: you amaze me, giving it away
“No shit!” (you amaze me) minus ‘it’.

Finally, something that appeared on my Blackberry recently (and yes, I know it’s sexist and tasteless):

Are you insured for sex?
The correct insurance companies are:
• Sex with your wife — Legal & General
• Sex on the telephone — Direct Line
• Sex with your partner — Standard Life
• Sex with a transvestite — Confused.com
• Sex with someone different — Go Compare
• Sex with a fat bird — More Than
• Sex on the back seat of a car — Sheila’s Wheels
• Sex with a posh bird — Privileged!

…and, for anyone who hasn’t yet seen it, a link: Royal wedding

2 Responses to “Cyclops 442: Royal wedding special”

  1. bamberger says:

    Last one was in 28a -while I have heard many euphemisms for it, Peter is not one -perhaps it is a regional thing. Peter =safe is the usual crosswordland meaning.

  2. jetdoc says:

    It is in Chambers — ‘n: a safe; a prison cell; the penis; a till (Aust); the witness box (Aust). pe’terman: a safe-blower.

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