Posted by jetdoc on January 8th, 2012
Here’s hoping you all had a splendid time over the holidays, and wishing you a very happy and (cruciverbally, at the very least) successful 2012.
This blog is due to appear for tomorrow morning, but we’re well past the submit-by date, and you may want to have a look while it’s still the weekend and before it fades from memory.
With a plethora of Christmas puzzles awaiting me, I managed to finish this one (clue solving, at least), fortunately, in one session in the pub the afternoon before Christmas Eve. The blogging proved slightly more time-consuming. Revealed around the perimeter is a quote from Daniel Day-Lewis, which I give you in all its unexpurgated glory:
“There’s a terrible sadness. The last day of shooting is surreal. Your mind, your body, your spirit are not in any way prepared to accept that this experience is coming to an end. In the months that follow the finish of a film, you feel profound emptiness. You’ve devoted so much of your time to unleashing, in an unconscious way, some sort of spiritual turmoil, and even if it’s uncomfortable, no part of you wishes to leave that character behind. The sense of bereavement is such that it can take years before you can put it to rest.”
I confess that I googled this once I had worked out a few of the words; well done to those of you who painstakingly pieced it together from the available letters. The edited version would, strictly speaking, have “…this experience’s coming to an end.”
For anyone unfamiliar with the terminology used in these blogs, ‘*(abcdef)’ means ‘an anagram of abcdef’.
|13||NOOSE||Swinger’s ropey neck wear?
The rope from whereby (wherefrom?) someone might hang
|14||ROUGH||Yobbish Archer finally has love — that’s horrible!
R = Archer finally; O = love; UGH = “that’s horrible!”
|15||ROGUE||Bugger gets goer (pissed) to eat top of underpants
*(goer), with ‘(pissed)’ as the anagram indicator; U = top of underpants
|16||SATIRICAL||Just like the Eye, rubbishing A-list celeb’s superior air
*(A-list C air), C being ‘celeb’s superior’
|17||NABOKOV||Fancy a bonk? Ring very controversial writer
*(a bonk O V), O being ‘ring’, and V being short for ‘very’
Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov
|18||TULIP||Length’s out, pull it frantically, flower!
Anagram of ‘pull it’ without L
|19||NAMIBIA||Country rejected one independent, sexually not fussy bloke
A = one; I = independent; BI = sexually not fussy; MAN = bloke; all reversed
|20||SPIRO||WASP ironically embracing Richard’s disgraced colleague
Hidden in ‘WASP ironically’
Spiro Agnew, 39th Vice President of the United States (1969–1973), serving under President Richard Nixon
|21||OFTEN||Go limp, pointlessly and frequently
[s]OFTEN, with ‘pointlessly’ meaning ‘take the S off’ (though if it were really without compass points, you’d be left with just OFT)
|22||PRIORITY||It’s most important to execute one intervening in Tory rip-off
*(I Tory rip), with ‘off’ as the anagram indicator
|23||POETS CORNER||Memorable Westminster location of circle involved with secret porn
*(O secret porn)
|26||GUNPOWDER PLOT||Breaking up, Labour’s leader, Gordon wept: it failed to elevate parliament
*(up L Gordon wept)
The Gunpowder Plot, which did not result in Parliament being blown up
|28||BULLDOG||Balls to follow, pet?
BULL[shit] = balls; DOG = follow
|29||HANOI||City’s expression of triumph: “Charge reversed!”
HA = expression of triumph; ION = charge (strictly speaking, a charged particle), reversed
|31||ITEMISE||Record that is about Times being crappy
IE = that is; *(Times)
|32/59||DANIEL DAY-LEWIS||Being affected, is a wally indeed
*(is a wally indeed). No definition (though maybe it’s an &lit), as indicated by the preamble — this gives us the originator of the quotation.
|34||REINTERRED||Fancy, er, Lewinsky, say, getting end away, embarrassed to be put under again
*(er inter), Monica Lewinsky being an example of an intern, which has had its final letter removed; in RED = embarrassed. Definition: ‘put under again’
|38||OUBLIETTE||Blue tit mangled in old English prison down under
*(Blue tit OE)
An underground dungeon
|40||MAINTENANCE||Conservative activity: providing for one’s ex
Double definition, with ‘conservative’ in the non-political sense
|41||LIMBO||Where to send the unwanted member (Tories’ no. 2)
LIMB = member; O = Tories’ no. 2. Definition: ‘Where to send the unwanted’
Without involving Spotify, I couldn’t find a link to an actual performance of the excellent Kirsty MacColl track Dancing in Limbo; there’s also a reference in Blackadder Goes Forth
|42||ETHOS||Characteristic morality of those screwing around
|43||HANDCUFFING||Police action to maintain close personal contact with the criminal?
|44||STRETCHER||Support for oil painting of Maggie, no hat, after rest disturbed?
*(rest); T[hat]CHER (hiss! boo!)
|46||NINCOMPOOP||Clinton finally abandoned Monica without a shit — plonker
N = Clinton finally; *(Monic) = abandoned Monica without A; POOP = shit
|48||BLIGHT||Brown, leader-wise, no heavyweight — “Blast!”
B = Brown, leader-wise; LIGHT = no heavyweight
|49||FALLS TO||Becomes the responsibility of sot, pissed after Autumn
FALL = Autumn; *(sot)
|53||INSET||Something stuck in the guts of Dawkins, etc.
Hidden in ‘Dawkins, etc.’
|54||CUTTERS||Those who pointedly ignore Conservative out-and-out bollocks finally
C = Conservative; UTTER = out-and-out; S = bollocks finally
|56||PHYSIOTHERAPY||Treatment of worried Tories happy to restrict Home Secretary’s extremes
HY = Home Secretary’s extremes; in *(Tories happy)
|57||EXPECTORANT||Await Obama’s opening diatribe — makes you want to spit!
EXPECT = Await; O = Obama’s opening; RANT = diatribe
|61||GECKO||Cold-blooded creature, lots of money and coke problem
G = lots of money; *(coke)
|63||X-RAYS||Ten pointless years screwing around — they reveal the inner person
X = Ten; *(yars) = pointless years screwing around
|65||DROP OFF||Decline is proof nuts protected by ’Defender of the Faith’
*(proof); in DF = Defender of the Faith
|66||HEATH||Hard on the spin surrounding a former PM
H = hard; THE, reversed; A
|67||CRAWLER||After stroke, Brenda’s OBN candidate
CRAWL = a swimming stroke; ER = Brenda (the Queen, in Private Eye-speak)
|68||STAIRLIFT||It requires no effort to go up to bed tail first for screwing
|69||TILED||House, at the very top, might be inflamed about Miliband?
LIT = inflamed, reversed; ED Miliband
|70||TABLE||Put forward, Balls’ first to get caught in lie
B = Balls’ first; in TALE = lie
|71||DIG UP||Get dirt on police officer, perverted ugly beast
DI = police officer (Detective Inspector); PUG, reversed = ‘perverted ugly beast’
|1||EXORBITANCE||Bax composed with erection — that’s outrageous!
|2||A WEEK IN POLITICS||Long time at Westminster? One gets feeble-sounding, as Cameron, Clegg, etc. are
A = One; WEEK = “weak”, i.e. feeble-sounding; IN POLITICS = as Cameron, Clegg, etc. are
Based on a quotation from Harold Wilson
|3||THRIVE||To succeed, Rev. Tony’s opening “Hi” needs a spin
*(Rev T Hi)
|4||ADULTERERS||Brenda doubled up between mature, short deceptive shaggers
ER ER = Brenda (the Queen) doubled up; ADULT = mature
|5||OTHELLO||To upset celebrity arse-licking mag would be a tragedy
OT = ‘to’ reversed; HELLO magazine
|6||SORE POINT||Maybe a chafed nipple is something you don’t want to discuss?
|7||ORGANDY||In US, fine material stiffened penis possibly with good lengthy climaxes
ORGAN = penis possibly; with DY = gooD lengthY climaxes. Classic Cyclops style!
|8||THERMOPILE||Temperature sensor the Marines attached to ring on a singular pain in the arse
THE R[oyal] M[arines]; O = ring; PILE = a singular haemorrhoid
|9||NOSEBLEED||Beak’s outpouring: “Negative Coe wants the city to drop east end”
NO SEB = Negative Coe; LEED[s]
|10||INTRANSIGENCE||Bad sign: in an erect, inflexible state
*(sign: in an erect)
|11||SERBS||Sabre-rattling Pole abandons a European people at war not long ago
*(sbre S) — A is taken out of ‘sabre’, S = south pole
|12||RUCTION||No sex with dog raised stink
NO IT CUR, all reversed
|24||OCHRE||Murdoch resents accommodating wishy-washy Brown?
Hidden in ‘Murdoch resents’
|25||ADVENT||Clap perversely in a short show, etc., as a lead up to Christmas
VD, reversed = clap perversely; in A ENT[ertainment]
|27||LADY MUCK||Pretentious snob finds Gladys extremely lacking and shit
[G]LADY[s]; MUCK = shit
|28||BREATHING||Her big bust with tan is what keeps you going
*(Her big tan), with ‘bust’ as the anagram indicator
|30||NKRUMAH||Ex-President Hank’s out to crush spirit
*(Hank); RUM = spirit
Kwame Nkrumah, leader of Ghana and its predecessor state, the Gold Coast, from 1952 to 1966
|33||NAIL FILES||Spike with flies undone — they make member’s extremities presentable
NAIL = Spike; *(flies), with ‘undone’ as the anagram indicator
|35||ERNEST||Bevin’s grave is lacking one
|36||LEAN-TO||Clean todger, holding supported erection
Hidden in ‘Clean todger’
|37||KNIGHTLY||Valiant bonk’s climax at the end of each day
K = bonk’s climax; NIGHTLY = at the end of each day
|39||BEHINDS||Arses supporting Socialist leader
BEHIND = supporting; S = Socialist leader
|41||LITTLE ENGLANDER||Poor Nell enlarged tit, being a fiercely independent nationalist
*(Nell enlarged tit)
|43||HYPOCHONDRIAC||Crony involved with ad hoc hip replacement (he’s ill in the mind)
*(Crony ad hoc hip)
|45||REFUTE||Show it’s wrong to mix turf with a couple of stimulants
|47||OPTIC||Love Tony’s head in photo being Eye-related
O = Love; T = Tony’s head; in PIC = photo
|50||SEARCHLIGHT||Insult about organ attached to small chain, as plane-spotters’ aid?
SLIGHT = Insult; EAR = organ; CH = small chain
|51||LEFT-FOOTED||Not the sort of person to give you a right kicking?
Self-explanatory, though I wrote LEFT-FOOTER before realising that R didn’t make sense in the perimeter
|52||DISINHIBIT||Make wanton, much revered woman go astray before Hello! piece
DI = much revered woman (Diana, Princess of Wales); SIN = go astray; HI = Hello; BIT = piece
|55||TEA FOR TWO||Shattering roof, twat “throttles” end of love song
*(roof twat); around E = end of love. Definition: song
|56||PSYCHED UP||Shy, cupped bust, being mentally prepared
*(Shy cupped), with ‘bust’ as the anagram indicator
|58||PEASANT||Lowly type covers TV presenter with garden produce
ANT = TV presenter (of Ant and Dec); PEAS = garden produce
|59||DEFILER||Balls up taking on abrasive type who’ll dirty you
ED [Balls] reversed; FILER = abrasive type
|60||ENACTOR||One who sees through Bill? “Luvvie after directions”
EN = directions; ACTOR = luvvie. Definition: one who sees through Bill (as in Act of Parliament)
|62||SCREEN||Stones, being loose, neuter vet
SCREE = loose stones; N = neuter
|64||SPREE||Peers spoiling for drunken bout?
This year’s festive Enigmatist quiz included a round based on Christmas cracker (carelessly, I put ‘card’ before) jokes. Here’s one that didn’t make it into the final cut:
Doctor to patient: “Mr Jones, I’m afraid you really are going to have to stop masturbating.”
Patient: “Why, doctor?”
Doctor: “Because I’m trying to examine you.”