Posted by jetdoc on September 16th, 2012
With apologies to anyone who struggled, I thought this was a remarkably straightforward puzzles — a quick solve on a train. I don’t have much to say about it — entertaining and clever as usual, but not quite vintage Cyclops. I think 11a is probably my favourite clue.
|1||CLARET||Short time for booze?
CLARE Short; T = time
|5||BOOB TUBE||Skimpy top causes boner, then shaft
BOOB = boner (which can mean a blunder); TUBE = shaft
|9||IN EFFECT||Really being before Tories’ no. 1 is nice? Eff-off!
*(nice eff); T = Tories’ no. 1
|10||FETISH||Does it give you an objective feel for sex?
‘an object believed to procure for its owner the services of a spirit lodged within it; an inanimate object to which a pathological sexual attachment is formed’. So there!
|11||ARSE-LICKER||We hear our posh Eye contributor’s O.B.N. candidate
Sounds like “Our Slicker”, Slicker being the Eye’s City correspondent. Private Eye’s collection of sycophantic quotes.
|13||HOBO||Chef’s support round bum
HOB = the flat framework or surface on top of a cooker, on which pots are placed to be heated; O = round
|14||HYPE||Trashy personal housing publicity
Hidden in ‘Trashy personal’
|15||EBB TIDE||Withdrawal of the main bidet — be prepared!
*(bidet be). Definition = Withdrawal of the main (sea)
|18||UNTRUTH||Whopper nut hurt badly
|19/6||JERK OFF||Act like wanker Archer, briefly, entertaining film company
JEFF[frey Archer]; containing RKO [Pictures]. Definition: ‘act like wanker’
|21||DUCK||You won’t score if you get one, dear
Double definition: a zero score in cricket; and in Lincolnshire where I grew up (and in a few other counties too, I believe), ‘duck’ was a universal term of mild endearment
|23||HIGH SEASON||Peak time to get pissed with the drink issue
HIGH = pissed; SEA = the drink; SON = issue
|25||ENTOMB||Yentob, chucking away capital to secure media chief put in grave situation
M = media chief; in [Y]ENTOB. Definition: put in grave situation
|27||REAR ENDS||More than one arsehole produces tears round organ
RENDS = tears; round EAR = organ
|28||POLE-AXED||Balls, possibly after syphilis (ale mixture injected), cut down
ED = Balls; after POX = syphilis, with *(ale) inside
|29||PUKING||Heaving with an erection backed by ruler
UP reversed = with an erection backed; KING = ruler
|2||LANARK||Town bird’s penetrated by one
AN = one; in LARK
|3||REFRESHER||Course for forgetful students about to put on more lippy?
RE = about; FRESHER = more lippy (more impertinent)
|4/26||THE DISPATCH BOX||Miliband, in shit, badly wants spot on TV, which speechifying minister stands by
ED = Miliband; in *(shit); PATCH = spot; on BOX = TV
The despatch/dispatch box
|5||BATIK||A waxing process that’s a bit messy on end of prick
*(a bit); on K = end of prick
|7||TITCH||Boob by arse-over-tip House of Commons — “just a small one”
TIT = boob; HC reversed
|8||BUSYBODY||Snoop hard at it getting stiff
BUSY = hard at it; BODY = stiff
|12||RUBBER STAMP||Routinely approve of Johnny mounting Frank?
RUBBER Johnny = old term for a condom and also, apparently, a boy whose bizarre skills frighten his caregivers; STAMP = frank (as in franking mail)
|16||TAKE A LEAK||Wee Kate worried by a disclosure
*(Kate); A LEAK = a disclosure. Definition: wee
|17||INNUENDO||“Wayward, ecstasy-gobbling Di, no nun” slur
*(E Di no nun). Definition: slur
|20||LONDON||Name Dave’s first entry into chump Boris’s place
ND = Name Dave’s first; in LOON = chump
I strongly dispute that my beloved home city is ‘Boris’s place’!
|22||KRONE||Australian’s boob lifted with energy for money
NORK, an Australian term for breast, reversed; E = energy
|24||GORED||Stabbed in the back, maybe, US election loser style?
Slightly limp clue — in the style of Al Gore, who disastrously lost the 2000 US presidential election despite winning the popular vote
I’m feeling a bit short of jokes or funny links this week. So here are a few of the ‘gems’ gleaned from Twitter by my spouse:
EXPERIENCE the excitement of the Jeremy Kyle show by moving your entire family to Blackpool.
CONVINCE people you’re a cat by strutting around with your anus on show.
HOLDING a badger under someone’s chin is a great way of finding out if they like tuberculosis.
ROY HODGSON. Take a leaf out of David Cameron’s book and put Emile Heskey back up front.
STUDENTS — save money on expensive Bombay Spice mix, by tipping up your keyboard and eating what drops out.