Fifteensquared

Never knowingly undersolved.

Cyclops 477: Our Slicker

Posted by jetdoc on September 16th, 2012

jetdoc.

With apologies to anyone who struggled, I thought this was a remarkably straightforward puzzles — a quick solve on a train. I don’t have much to say about it — entertaining and clever as usual, but not quite vintage Cyclops. I think 11a is probably my favourite clue.

 

Across
1 CLARET Short time for booze?
CLARE Short; T = time
5 BOOB TUBE Skimpy top causes boner, then shaft
BOOB = boner (which can mean a blunder); TUBE = shaft
Boob tube
9 IN EFFECT Really being before Tories’ no. 1 is nice? Eff-off!
*(nice eff); T = Tories’ no. 1
10 FETISH Does it give you an objective feel for sex?
‘an object believed to procure for its owner the services of a spirit lodged within it; an inanimate object to which a pathological sexual attachment is formed’. So there!
11 ARSE-LICKER We hear our posh Eye contributor’s O.B.N. candidate
Sounds like “Our Slicker”, Slicker being the Eye’s City correspondent. Private Eye’s collection of sycophantic quotes.
13 HOBO Chef’s support round bum
HOB = the flat framework or surface on top of a cooker, on which pots are placed to be heated; O = round
14 HYPE Trashy personal housing publicity
Hidden in ‘Trashy personal’
15 EBB TIDE Withdrawal of the main bidet — be prepared!
*(bidet be). Definition = Withdrawal of the main (sea)
18 UNTRUTH Whopper nut hurt badly
*(nut hurt)
19/6 JERK OFF Act like wanker Archer, briefly, entertaining film company
JEFF[frey Archer]; containing RKO [Pictures]. Definition: ‘act like wanker’
21 DUCK You won’t score if you get one, dear
Double definition: a zero score in cricket; and in Lincolnshire where I grew up (and in a few other counties too, I believe), ‘duck’ was a universal term of mild endearment
23 HIGH SEASON Peak time to get pissed with the drink issue
HIGH = pissed; SEA = the drink; SON = issue
25 ENTOMB Yentob, chucking away capital to secure media chief put in grave situation
M = media chief; in [Y]ENTOB. Definition: put in grave situation
27 REAR ENDS More than one arsehole produces tears round organ
RENDS = tears; round EAR = organ
28 POLE-AXED Balls, possibly after syphilis (ale mixture injected), cut down
ED = Balls; after POX = syphilis, with *(ale) inside
29 PUKING Heaving with an erection backed by ruler
UP reversed = with an erection backed; KING = ruler
Down
2 LANARK Town bird’s penetrated by one
AN = one; in LARK
3 REFRESHER Course for forgetful students about to put on more lippy?
RE = about; FRESHER = more lippy (more impertinent)
4/26 THE DISPATCH BOX Miliband, in shit, badly wants spot on TV, which speechifying minister stands by
ED = Miliband; in *(shit); PATCH = spot; on BOX = TV
The despatch/dispatch box
5 BATIK A waxing process that’s a bit messy on end of prick
*(a bit); on K = end of prick
Batik
7 TITCH Boob by arse-over-tip House of Commons — “just a small one”
TIT = boob; HC reversed
8 BUSYBODY Snoop hard at it getting stiff
BUSY = hard at it; BODY = stiff
12 RUBBER STAMP Routinely approve of Johnny mounting Frank?
RUBBER Johnny = old term for a condom and also, apparently, a boy whose bizarre skills frighten his caregivers; STAMP = frank (as in franking mail)
16 TAKE A LEAK Wee Kate worried by a disclosure
*(Kate); A LEAK = a disclosure. Definition: wee
17 INNUENDO “Wayward, ecstasy-gobbling Di, no nun” slur
*(E Di no nun). Definition: slur
20 LONDON Name Dave’s first entry into chump Boris’s place
ND = Name Dave’s first; in LOON = chump
I strongly dispute that my beloved home city is ‘Boris’s place’!
22 KRONE Australian’s boob lifted with energy for money
NORK, an Australian term for breast, reversed; E = energy
24 GORED Stabbed in the back, maybe, US election loser style?
Slightly limp clue — in the style of Al Gore, who disastrously lost the 2000 US presidential election despite winning the popular vote

I’m feeling a bit short of jokes or funny links this week. So here are a few of the ‘gems’ gleaned from Twitter by my spouse:

EXPERIENCE the excitement of the Jeremy Kyle show by moving your entire family to Blackpool.

CONVINCE people you’re a cat by strutting around with your anus on show.

HOLDING a badger under someone’s chin is a great way of finding out if they like tuberculosis.

ROY HODGSON. Take a leaf out of David Cameron’s book and put Emile Heskey back up front.

STUDENTS — save money on expensive Bombay Spice mix, by tipping up your keyboard and eating what drops out.

5 Responses to “Cyclops 477: Our Slicker”

  1. bridgesong says:

    Thanks for the blog, Jetdoc. I agree with your assessment of the level of difficulty, although NORK was new to me. However, was it not even filthier than usual?

  2. jetdoc says:

    Maybe… I wasn’t especially struck by the filthiness of it, but I am pretty much inured to it by now!

    Beermagnet and I agree that the most difficult thing about writing the blog is doing the introductory paragraph, which was particularly difficult with this one — I just couldn’t think of anything to say!

  3. Will says:

    Slight correction to 2d: AN = one.

  4. jetdoc says:

    Thanks, Will

  5. Bamberger says:

    I liked your intro because while this didn’t cause me any problems, I find it really irritating when a blogger on a xword says something like “Very easy with no hold ups” and I’ve struggled for 45 minutes and have been quite pleased to get 5 clues out.

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