Fifteensquared

Never knowingly undersolved.

Cyclops 510: Fruity twerking

Posted by jetdoc on December 23rd, 2013

jetdoc.

Apologies if this appears twice [it didn’t] — the new interface on the website is not behaving as I expected it to.

Finally got round to writing this blog as I emerge from my long sleep after yesterday’s truly brilliant Crossword Centenary celebration in London. You may be interested to learn that my co-blogger, Beermagnet, won the prize of a morning at the BBC watching the Today programme being made. Has John Humphrys finally met his match?

Have a lovely Christmas and New Year, everyone. And a very Happy Birthday to the crossword puzzle!

Across
8 FRUITY Peaches-like fury about having sex?
*(fury), with ‘about’ as the anagram indicator; having (= containing) IT = sex
Implied reference to Peaches Geldof
9 RELAXANT Way to produce a crap, er, arse-over-tip, sloppy TV presenter?
RE = er, arse-over-tip; LAX = sloppy; ANT = TV presenter (half of Ant & Dec)
10 TWERKING Plonker getting end away — what Charles would be (agitating arse)
TWER[p] = Plonker getting end away; KING = what Charles would be. Definition = agitating arse
How to twerk
11 COMMON Pleb-like MPs place, society’s dumped
COMMON[s] = MPs place, minus S =society
12 SPOTTY Son with nuts covered in zits
S = Son; POTTY = nuts
13 BRISTLES Libs rest when splitting hairs?
*(Libs rest)
16/17 GREEN VOTE “Adapt or get even”, which has a natural effect on election outcome?
*(or get even), with ‘adapt’ as the anagram indicator
18 FLAPJACK Waggle tool: it’s one way to get your oats
FLAP = waggle; JACK = tool
Flapjack
20 THRUSH Fanny’s problem after short time in embrace of American arse
HR = abbreviation for ‘hour’ (short time); in TUSH = American word for ‘arse’
Candida albicans
22 TWITCH Jerk’s dope chain
TWIT = dope; CH = chain
23 REPRIEVE River polluted with pee — pardon?
*(river pee)
24 BRIGHTON City wants Cable’s guts? Correct!
B = Cable’s guts; RIGHT ON = Correct!
25 LIABLE Balls not finished — i.e. nuts to blame
*(Ball i e), with ‘nuts’ as the anagram indicator
Down
1 GROW UP Having a hard-on after good fight? “Don’t be so juvenile”
UP = having a hard-on; after G = good, ROW = fight
2 VIBRATOR Woman’s brief underwear over balls as a sex aid
VI = woman’s brief (shortened form of ‘Violet’ etc); BRA = underwear; ROT, reversed = over balls
3 TYPIFY Be a symbol of pity, getting screwed by heartless floosy
*(pity); F[loos]Y
4/14 DRUG USER Junkie’s date put on toupee — sure to get stoned
D = date; RUG = toupee (extreme bad taste warning!); *(sure), with ‘to get stoned’ as the anagram indicator
5 ELECTION Woody’s change of direction, the making of an MP?
I am assuming here that ‘woody’ can be used as a noun meaning ERECTION; with R changed to L
6 EXEMPT Drug-taking old partner, terrible PMT is excused
E = drug; in EX = old partner; *(PMT)
7 INDOLENT Lazy elected party acted like bankers
IN = elected; DO = party; LENT = acted like bankers
13/23 BREAK RANK Get out of line, snap “Gross!”
BREAK = snap; RANK = “Gross!”
15 SILKWORM Fibre producer’s lawyer, despicable type
SILK = lawyer (QC); WORM = despicable type
silkworm
16 GRAPHITE Great hip shaking, providing lead in your pencil?
*(Great hip)
17 VIRGINAL Very bad rail without booze, like Branson’s lot
V = very; *(rail); without (containing) GIN = booze
19 POTAGE Cannabis era’s starter?
POT = cannabis; AGE = era
Looks a bit filling for a starter
20 TIPPLE Bristol point with different starter drink
[N]IPPLE = Bristol point, with different first letter
21 SAVILE Since ascendancy, really foul, his reputation now in tatters
AS = since, reversed; VILE = really foul, which is what he was

I leave you first with this handy hint for pet-owners:

HowToWashACat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

… followed by advice on how not to adorn your church:

ArseWhole

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ullapool Church Display Clarification
The Lochbrim & Firestone Kirk wishes to clarify that their inspirational display on the church wall is meant to say ‘Arise’.
A church spokesman told us, “We heard there was confusion and even some raising of smirks regarding our display. Imagine our embarrassment when we took a look and realised the break above the letter R must be causing people to misread it as ‘AKISE’. Hopefully once we finish the Godly instruction with the addition of ‘Whole’ to the right hand side, the matter will be resolved and the public will appreciate what we are saying to them.”

2 Responses to “Cyclops 510: Fruity twerking”

  1. Keeper says:

    Thanks, jetdoc. Another enjoyable romp from Cyclops.

    My clear favorite was 16d. 5d also elicited a smile/groan. (If you asked folks on this side of the pond what “woody” brings to mind, I’d guess the top three answers would be Woodpecker, Harrelson, and erection, but not necessarily in that order.)

    Bristol as Cockney rhyming slang for breast, and Ant as a TV producer were new to me (but researchable). Also, I failed on 20a, as I had forgotten that “fanny” means different things in the UK and the US. (I imagine Brits can only smirk when hearing an American talk about wearing a “fanny pack”!)

    Finally, you seem to have a typo in 10a: TWEK[p] should be TWER[p].

  2. jetdoc says:

    Thanks, Keeper. I hope that was the only typo; I was feeling a bit shell-shocked yesterday after Saturday.

Leave a Reply

Don't forget to scroll down to the Captcha before you click 'Submit Comment'

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>


+ 9 = ten