Cyclops 510: Fruity twerking

Apologies if this appears twice [it didn’t] — the new interface on the website is not behaving as I expected it to.

Finally got round to writing this blog as I emerge from my long sleep after yesterday’s truly brilliant Crossword Centenary celebration in London. You may be interested to learn that my co-blogger, Beermagnet, won the prize of a morning at the BBC watching the Today programme being made. Has John Humphrys finally met his match?

Have a lovely Christmas and New Year, everyone. And a very Happy Birthday to the crossword puzzle!

Across
8	FRUITY	Peaches-like fury about having sex? *(fury), with ‘about’ as the anagram indicator; having (= containing) IT = sex Implied reference to Peaches Geldof
9	RELAXANT	Way to produce a crap, er, arse-over-tip, sloppy TV presenter? RE = er, arse-over-tip; LAX = sloppy; ANT = TV presenter (half of Ant & Dec)
10	TWERKING	Plonker getting end away — what Charles would be (agitating arse) TWER[p] = Plonker getting end away; KING = what Charles would be. Definition = agitating arse How to twerk
11	COMMON	Pleb-like MPs place, society’s dumped COMMON[s] = MPs place, minus S =society
12	SPOTTY	Son with nuts covered in zits S = Son; POTTY = nuts
13	BRISTLES	Libs rest when splitting hairs? *(Libs rest)
16/17	GREEN VOTE	“Adapt or get even”, which has a natural effect on election outcome? *(or get even), with ‘adapt’ as the anagram indicator
18	FLAPJACK	Waggle tool: it’s one way to get your oats FLAP = waggle; JACK = tool Flapjack
20	THRUSH	Fanny’s problem after short time in embrace of American arse HR = abbreviation for ‘hour’ (short time); in TUSH = American word for ‘arse’ Candida albicans
22	TWITCH	Jerk’s dope chain TWIT = dope; CH = chain
23	REPRIEVE	River polluted with pee — pardon? *(river pee)
24	BRIGHTON	City wants Cable’s guts? Correct! B = Cable’s guts; RIGHT ON = Correct!
25	LIABLE	Balls not finished — i.e. nuts to blame *(Ball i e), with ‘nuts’ as the anagram indicator
Down
1	GROW UP	Having a hard-on after good fight? “Don’t be so juvenile” UP = having a hard-on; after G = good, ROW = fight
2	VIBRATOR	Woman’s brief underwear over balls as a sex aid VI = woman’s brief (shortened form of ‘Violet’ etc); BRA = underwear; ROT, reversed = over balls
3	TYPIFY	Be a symbol of pity, getting screwed by heartless floosy *(pity); F[loos]Y
4/14	DRUG USER	Junkie’s date put on toupee — sure to get stoned D = date; RUG = toupee (extreme bad taste warning!); *(sure), with ‘to get stoned’ as the anagram indicator
5	ELECTION	Woody’s change of direction, the making of an MP? I am assuming here that ‘woody’ can be used as a noun meaning ERECTION; with R changed to L
6	EXEMPT	Drug-taking old partner, terrible PMT is excused E = drug; in EX = old partner; *(PMT)
7	INDOLENT	Lazy elected party acted like bankers IN = elected; DO = party; LENT = acted like bankers
13/23	BREAK RANK	Get out of line, snap “Gross!” BREAK = snap; RANK = “Gross!”
15	SILKWORM	Fibre producer’s lawyer, despicable type SILK = lawyer (QC); WORM = despicable type silkworm
16	GRAPHITE	Great hip shaking, providing lead in your pencil? *(Great hip)
17	VIRGINAL	Very bad rail without booze, like Branson’s lot V = very; *(rail); without (containing) GIN = booze
19	POTAGE	Cannabis era’s starter? POT = cannabis; AGE = era Looks a bit filling for a starter
20	TIPPLE	Bristol point with different starter drink [N]IPPLE = Bristol point, with different first letter
21	SAVILE	Since ascendancy, really foul, his reputation now in tatters AS = since, reversed; VILE = really foul, which is what he was

I leave you first with this handy hint for pet-owners:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

… followed by advice on how not to adorn your church:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ullapool Church Display Clarification
The Lochbrim & Firestone Kirk wishes to clarify that their inspirational display on the church wall is meant to say ‘Arise’.
A church spokesman told us, “We heard there was confusion and even some raising of smirks regarding our display. Imagine our embarrassment when we took a look and realised the break above the letter R must be causing people to misread it as ‘AKISE’. Hopefully once we finish the Godly instruction with the addition of ‘Whole’ to the right hand side, the matter will be resolved and the public will appreciate what we are saying to them.”