Independent 8,803 / Donk

Cryptically, the Queen’s autobiography could be entitled “One” by One, since the Queen refers to herself using the pronoun “one” instead of “I”!

<fal>SE (“last pair” means last two letters only) + PINS (legs); “counter”, i.e. in the opposite direction, indicates reversal; to snipe is to put down, have a go at, criticise

PER DU<e> (=for two, e.g. in music; “de-tails” means last letter dropped); something “perdu” is lost to view, concealed, hence “secret”

TOMATO (=fruit) in AUN<t> (=relative; “short of time (=T)” means letter “t” dropped); cryptically, a “being worked invariably” is one given repetitive tasks, a robot

Y-COP (COPY=counterfeit; “cycling” indicates that last letter moves to front of word) in SHAN’T (=will not); “parts” should be read as a verb form, i.e. splits (up)

Wills is Prince William, one of the royals; a right royal disaster would be a complete, utter one

Hidden (“partial to”, i.e. part of) in “humP IN A TAxi”; a piñata is a pottery or papier mâché figure filled with sweets that is smashed by blindfolded guests at a party in Latin America

“Comment”, as in Comment allez-vous?”, is the French for “how”, i.e. the version used in the French city of Nancy!

N (=North) + [G (=German) in ELECT (=vote)]

*(ON SKIP); “once renovation’s complete” is anagram indicator; pinkos are socialists, hence “those left (of centre)”, but not reds

W (=with) + A + TER<n> (=bird; “short” means last letter dropped); Lake Superior in North America is “full of water”, of course!

(to) PUT A CROSS (on a ballot paper) is to “vote”

HE-BRIDE (=maybe one at gay wedding, jocularly) + A + N (=northern)

A Brummie would pronounce (“reportedly”) “grape” (=fruit) as “gripe”!

<tw>EL<ve (=12; “middle of” means two central letters only) + EVEN (=just, fair); “one off it (=twelve)” means 12-1=11

*(SAYS TEMP); “(to) doctor” is anagram indicator; a PA system is a public address system, e.g. Tannoy

P (=pee, i.e. representation of how letter “p” is pronounced) in [O (=ordinary) + POSE (=position)]

<h>ENR<y> (“heart” here means all but first and last letters) + I CHING (=Chinese book, used in divination)

Cryptically, the question “your place or mine” concerns the “setting”, location for an amorous adventure

Vertical reversal (“put up”) of “A RAGA<muff>IN”; “no warmer in winter (=muff)” means the letters “muff” are dropped

*(CEREMO<n>Y MOURNING); “not nationalist (=N)” means a letter “n” is dropped from anagram, indicated by “radical”

Cryptically, “where kids go (to the toilet)” is a potty

SENILI (LINE (=band, stripe) in IS; “up” indicates vertical reversal) + T<he>Y (“must be gutted” means all but first and last letters are dropped); in the definition, “getting on” refers to growing older, ageing

Hidden (“bags”) in “juST AT ICe”

*(INCOMES TO); “rent”, i.e. torn is anagram indicator; & lit.

*(WHEN SO SO); “lost” is anagram indicator

Homophone (“by phone”) of “tip (=dump) ex (=former lover”); cryptically, to “tippex” over something is to “ready (it) for replacement”

PET (=favourite) + UNI (=BA journey here, where BA stands for Bachelor of Arts, not British Airways) + A<ssembly> (“start from” means first letter only)

[S (=small) + TEE (=supporter, of (golf) course)] in EM (ME=setter, i.e. Donk; “lifted” indicates vertical reversal)

<vege>TABLE (=swede, perhaps); “repeatedly tops” means that numerous letters are dropped from the beginning of the (down) word