Thanks Hoskins. The last couple in required me taking a time-out before they came to mind. Definitions are underlined in the clues.
There’s a smattering of references to biological functions in the clues, and a heavier dose of drug references. What goes, if anything, I wonder?
Across
1 Flatus mostly annoyed the Queen? (7)
WINDSOR : WIND(flatus) + “sore”(be annoyed) minus its last letter(mostly …).
Answer: The Royal House to which Queen Elizabeth belongs.
5 Worrier with trouble getting grass (7)
FUSSPOT : FUSS(trouble;ado) plus(getting) POT(slang for marijuana, as is “grass”).
9 Joint gets up one’s nose endlessly (5)
ANKLE : “rankles”(gets up one’s nose;annoys one) minus its 1st and last letters(endlessly).
10 Fluid drunk with ales? A volley of shots! (9)
FUSILLADE : Anagram of(… drunk …) [FLUID plus(with) ALES].
11 Back aim to take heroin out of hospital (7)
ENDORSE : END(aim;an objective) plus(to take) “horse”(slang for heroin) minus(out of) “h”(abbrev. for “hospital”).
Defn: To second or approve, say, a proposal.
12 I fool Self to get a line and H for myself! (7)
INITIAL : I + NIT(a fool) + I(pronoun for oneself) plus(to get) A + L(abbrev. for “line”).
Defn: What “H” is for “Hoskins”, name of the setter, or self-referentially, myself.
13 I wondered about retirement cover (9)
EIDERDOWN : Anagram of(… about) I WONDERED.
Defn: A quilt covering one in retirement at night in bed.
16 Drug that’s turned around problem animals (4)
EMUS : E(abbrev. for the drug Ecstasy) plus(that’s;that has) reversal of(turned around) SUM(an arithmetical problem).
18 Naughty stuff is S&M – time you whipped back! (4)
SMUT : S plus(&) M + reversal of(… whipped back) [ T(abbrev. for “time”) + U(“you”, in texting, say) ].
20 Us pigs end up displaying this (9)
PUDGINESS : Anagram of(… up)US PIGS END.
Defn: What them greedy humans;pigs end up displaying.
A WIWD(wordplay intertwined with definition) clue.
23 Something escaping Slash? Intros to all G’n’R EPs (7)
LEAKAGE : LEAK(like “slash”, slang for “urination”, as in “to take a leak” or “to have a slash”) + the 1st letters, respectively, of(Intros to) “all G’n’R EPs“.
And Slash was the stage name of the lead guitarist in the rock group, Guns N’ Roses.
24 Group of stars almost get goal with good ball (7)
SCORPIO : “score”(to get a goal in, say, a football game) minus its last letter(almost …) plus(with) PI(short for “pious”;religiously devout;good) + O(letter representing a circle, or sphere even;a ball).
26 Prosecuted over small bit of skunk? Go on! (9)
PROCESSED : [ S(abbrev. for “small”) + the 1st letter of(bit of) “skunk” ] contained in(over …? …) PROCEED(to go on;to continue with an action).
Defn: Instituted legal proceedings against.
27 Warning: beer leads to recall trouble (5)
ALERT : ALE(beer) + the 1st letters, respectively, of(leads to) “recall trouble“.
28 A drug addict one examines carefully (7)
PERUSER : PER(“a”, as in “a pound per ticket”) + USER(a drug addict) .
29 Tory leader gone on heroin, E and baccy (3,4)
THE WEED : The 1st letter of(… leader) “Tory” + { WEED(had a leak;had gone, as in “I had to go before I wet my pants”) placed after(on) [ H(abbrev. for “heroin”) + E ] }.
Defn: Tobacco.
Down
1 Above topless excitement, eh? Yeah right! (8)
WHATEVER : “fever”(excitement, as in “Saturday night fever”) minus its 1st letter(topless …) placed below(Above …, …, in a down clue) WHAT?(“eh?”;what did you say?).
Defn: An interjection indicating indifference to something that someone has said or a situation, etc.
2 Clergyman snorting kilo up in the buff (5)
NAKED : Reversal of(… up) [DEAN(a clergyman) containing(snorting) K(abbrev. for “kilo”).
3 “One fleeces society to make out” – The Queen (7)
SHEARER : S(abbrev. for “society”) + HEAR(to make out;to discern with the ear the sound made by someone or something) + ER(abbrev. for Elizabeth Regina, the Queen).
4 Go through boozy dessert, but skip the starter (5)
RIFLE : “trifle”(a boozy;soaked in wine or sherry dessert) minus its last letter(but skip the starter).
5 Given form of Villa, ultimately I shed no tears (9)
FASHIONED : The last letters, respectively, of(…, ultimately) “of Villa” + anagram of(… tears) I SHED NO ] .
6 Cross and weary after the Spanish turned up (7)
SALTIRE : TIRE(to weary) placed below(after, in a down clue) reversal of(… turned up) LAS(“the” in Spanish).
7 Trite remark on freedom is claptrap ultimately (9)
PLATITUDE : LATITUDE(freedom;unrestricted scope for action, thought, etc.) placed below(on … is, in a down clue) the last letter of(… ultimately) “claptrap“.
8 Wanting bit of meth, shake three times over (6)
TREBLE : The 1st letter of(bit of) “meth” deleted from(Wanting …, …) “tremble”(to shake;to quake).
14 Moaner due to get smacked for behaviour (9)
DEMEANOUR : Anagram of(… to get smacked) MOANER DUE.
15 Odious leader taking power to crush men? (9)
OPPRESSOR : The 1st letter of(… leader) “Odious” plus(taking) P(abbrev. for “power” in physics) + PRESS(to crush) +OR(abbrev. for “other ranks”, uncommissioned soldiers;men in the military).
A WIWD clue.
17 When to get supplied with drugs of different classes (8)
ASSORTED : AS(when, as in “as you walk into the room”) + SORTED(to be supplied with stuff, especially drugs, as in “sorted with pot”).
19 Reportedly, they might be fans of Tees puzzles (7)
TEASERS : Homophone of(Reportedly) “Tees-ers”(what fans;enthusiasts of Tees, the man – probably the one who sets crossword puzzles – might be called).
21 Quarantine one’s behind if full of a little gas (7)
ISOLATE : I(Roman numeral for “one”)‘S + LATE(behind in time;after the expected time) containing(if full of) O(the chemical symbol;a little name, for the gaseous element, oxygen).
22 Drink with drink in it? Excellent! (4-2)
SLAP-UP : SUP(to drink, in sips or spoonfuls) containing(with … in it) LAP(to drink, like an animal, with quick movements of the tongue).
24 I’m annoyed model nurses take too many drugs (3,2)
SOD IT! : SIT(to model;pose for an artist or photographer) containing(nurses) OD(abbrev. for “overdose”;to take too many drugs).
Defn: Exclamation expressing annoyance at something or other, synonymous with “bugger it!”.
25 Bit quiet for those monitoring the airwaves? (5)
PIECE : Homophone of(.. for those monitoring the airwaves;for those listening) “peace”(a bit of quiet and freedom from disturbance).
Thanks Sc and Harry who is actually in my kitchen as I write. The smut level hit the roof on this one.
I agree (while not being in that kitchen), it hit a roof or two.
Sex drugs (a lot of) & rock ‘n’ roll.
Most solvers will either turn their heads the other way or cherish Hoskins’ surfaces.
Meanwhile, everything’s cryptically so sound that I think that’s quite an achievement with these surfaces.
Yes, that’s what it is, quite an achievement.
I was chuckling as soon as I started skimming the clues. Just the thing for my weekly IoS fix.
A smorgasbord of smut from the 225 trolley. On a Sunday too – or is it still Saturday night in that kitchen? Nice 1 Harry, but amongst it all Eiderdown was my CoD.
Thanks for the fun, and to Scchua for a very restrained blog.
Lovely stuff. The usual Hoskins’ smorgasbord of drugs, booze and Her Maj. Took me a while to finish with a smattering of tricky clues, such as TREBLE and PLATITUDE, but all the more enjoyable to finish without recourse to any aids. As for PROCESSED, I wouldn’t read ‘over’ as an inclusion indicator so much as ‘proceed’ is over ‘ss’. This type of word ordering took me a while to get used to – over small bit of skunk (is) go on – but tend to accept it now as standard fare. Nice to see Spanish ‘the’ not ‘el’ just to help throw us a little. Thanks to Harry and scchua.
Hovis, re PROCESSED, we both mean the same thing. I wrote that “SS” is contained in, and that “being contained in” is indicated by “over …? …”, ie. “over SS? PROCEED” filling in the ellipses. And that is equivalent to “over a small bit of skunk (is) go on”.
Thanks scchua and Morning Harry. Another good ‘in (and then some!)
In passing, I wonder if ‘Yeah right’ is the only example of a double positive implying a negative.
Nothing surprises me with Harry’s puzzles any more – is that a good or a bad thing? Whichever, I’m still tackling them and I found quite a lot to enjoy in this one. 13a was definitely the star of the show, followed by 7&15d.
Thanks to Harry and to scchua.
A mostly (we failed on 29ac and only got 1ac and 1dn with help) solvable puzzle but we thought the drug and bodily function references were a bit too frequent. However, we liked FUSSPOT, FUSILLADE, EIDERDOWN, SALTIRE and PLATITUDE. We also liked the misdirection – all birds are animals, but not all animals are birds – in EMUS (good thing you didn’t include a bird link there, scchua, or you might have heard from Pierre’s legal team!)
Couldn’t parse PROCESSED, and missed the obvious parsing of PIECE; we thought it might be P (soft, in music) plus IECE, an abbreviation for some body similar to GCHQ – doh!
Thanks, though, to Hoskins and scchua.
Thanks to Hoskins for a fun ending to the weekend. No special favourites – that’s all good (do we now hear from W1A’s legal team for using one of their catchphrases?).
Thanks scchua.
Many thanks to scchua for a fine blog, to the Flash for keeping me suitably lubricated on this, his birthday weekend, and to all who solved and especially those who commented.
Although my lovely and hard-working test-solver labelled this one as easy (30min solve) I have had a bit of feedback that others found it a bit harder than that, so apologies to anyone for whom the puzzle was a bit tougher than yer usual IOS.
Glad the naughtiness went down okay for the most part and that Jane is still with us and I should add not all of my puzzles are so narcotic and flatulent for any in Sil’s well-defined ‘turned head camp’. Thanks also to all for the kind comments – always appreciated here in darkest East Anglia – and to CC @7 I could only think of ‘yeah, yeah’ – with the right intonation, of course.
And with that said, and I would imagine you know where this is going if you are a long time reader of blogs of my puzzles, it’s time to get on to the far more important updates in the life of Mrs Jalopy, the often embattled and eccentric keeper of the fabled Fifteen Squared drinks trolley.
Last time out we had to have a ‘make yer own Jalopyian adventure’ as I was pretty busy what with the working and the drinking (mostly the drinking) and had no time to relate her ongoing travails. This time, although there have been events that have transpired in the life of Jalopy that are more exciting than a ferret down the trousers of a chap wearing trousers, it just so happens that an extremely interesting Jalopyian historical document has just surfaced and so I now, with the usual trepidation and sloppy Babycham-induced grin, offer you an extract from the recently unearthed Jalopy Diaries.
June 13th, 2010
Well, things have gone from good to bad to UKIP and back again in the past week and so, my diary, I hope you’ll forgive my not making an entry in you for a while.
The thing is, I’ve been terrible down since my temping for, as they seem to call it for reasons unknown to myself, The Grauniad was terminated after the powers that be said I wasn’t to deliver my Babycham cocktails to any of their crossword finaglers due to it making them a little too over excited (apparently one shot of Babycham is all Picaroon needs to get up on the office tables and start singing the praises of transcendental duck mediation).
Ooohhhh, I was heart-wrenched at the thought of it. I imagined of all those lovely, eccentric – and I do have to say or I wouldn’t be being honest with you – funny-looking folk, as my babies. Not to be able to serve them a little tipple now and again was as awful a thought as an orange-haired fool entering the highest orifice in the land. But awful a thought as it was it was something I couldn’t avoid thinking of as the plump cat in his keratin tower had spoken and unemployed I now was.
With nothing else to do, it was down the labour exchange with myself and I didn’t even spare the horses, which, as you’ll know from my previous entries, is what I call my feet on account of the shoe-based heroin smuggling I used to do in the 70s when times were tough as Mr Jalopy’s Sunday roasts.
Now, I hadn’t had to face the demonic forces of the labour exchange since the time dear son number two had had to be accompanied there by me on account of being terrified, rightly so, of facing the terrors therein. But go I did and, although there were no particular vacancies that suited me – only ghost writer for some sort of drunkard called Harry with delusions of some sort of future storytelling biography – something of note happened on the way out. Oh my, it was something, or should I say someone, of note indeed!
I wouldn’t say I’m a woman who looks – you know, really looks – at other men as the Mr Jalopy is quite enough for a woman of my means, thank you very much. But I couldn’t help but stare when I saw this chap as I exited the labour exchange and stepped over the less fortunate of its customers what were lying outside like there were a painting by someone who knew the meaning of cuts.
And there he was, the man who had caught my eye. Oooh, well, I wouldn’t say he was a man one would think as traditionally handsome, certainly his face was a collection of angles that Picasso would’ve been proud of, but I was drawn to him, to something about him, and even though I recognised his football shirt as being that of the Tottingham Hotspurs, I thought ‘well, nobody’s perfect’ and approached – as if drawn by a magnet to a flame.
‘Oh hello’, I said, using the voice I had used since I had learned to talk. And then, almost immediately, he replied.
‘It’s not …’ and here he paused for what seemed an age before finally saying, ‘it’s not Mrs Jalopy is it?’
I simply nodded in an awestruck fashion – a man such as this and he knew my name! What excitement coursed through myself: from my nylons to my puce-pink rayon headscarf an electricity crackled so hard I was glad I’d cooked the crisp sarnies and not the beans for last night’s supper.
‘It surely can’t?’ The man continued, ‘Surely it can’t be Mrs Jalopy? Mrs Jalopy: server of the Babycham? Mrs Jalopy: causer of the explosion of Ximenes? Mrs Jalopy: world-renowned keeper of the trolley on which the best and worst of crossword finaglers sup?’
‘Tis me,’ I said – and I didn’t really know why I went Shakespearean when I said it, but I suppose something in his manner transported me – you know, the gravytas of it.
Well, dear diary, I can proudly say he then asked me what I was doing and I said ‘just off to the Lidl to pick up some half-priced pot noodle and broken biscuits for the dear son number one’s tea’. At that, he, with a smile, said, ‘no, work wise’, and I couldn’t help laugh at my silliness, but not before telling him my sorry tale of job loss (even went into Iambic pentameter at one point such was the effect of things).
Hells bells, dear diary, I got so carried away with my woes I even showed him the bunions on the horses and mole on the left cheek; and then it was out with the birthmark in the shape of Anax on the right cheek, the indentation of the labour exchange unthrowable chairs on the other cheek and finally the small, grapefruit-sized tattoo The Krankies on the fourth!
He seemed suitably impressed at that. At least his eyebrows did, for on the showing of the fourth cheek they were, to borrow an expression of dear son number three, ‘as high as me mate the-no-account Hoskins’. Still, it must’ve had some sort of effect on the man as it was at that very particular moment in time that he said:
‘You know, Mrs Jalopy – there are more drunkards than you can shake an urn of Babycham at the place I happen to manage and, if you would be amenable, I’d love you to come and work for us.’
‘Us,’ I said intrigued but cautious-like as I’d heard of the US before and never really been too sure about it what with it being full of Americans. ‘And whom may us be when we are at home?’
‘My dear Mrs Jalopy,’ he said, ‘the us I talk of is the Independent. The us I talk of is only the finest collection of crossword finaglers and Babycham addicts this side of the Elton John gap!’
And that was it, dear diary, I was smitten and accepted the offer of employment as quick as my horses could tap out a yes in the detritus and filth that littered the outside of the labour exchange!
No sooner than I’d accepted, the man in the Tottingham Hotspurs shirt was gone and later that day I was in the Indy offices with my trolley frantically libating the likes of your Monks and your Klingsors, yes indeed I was rolling out the trolley and the urn for all of those greats and, dare I say it now at this point in time, but I think it might be something that, someday, folks might write about – not normal folks, of course, but your communal garden variety of idiot like that silly sausage dear son number three hangs around with … now what was his name?
Ach, can’t remember and so with high hopes for the future and a flask full of Babycham, to bed.
Jalopy, June 13th, 2010
And so the extract of the historical document ends, folks. I can’t promise you more extracts as the law of Gaufrid states one should never push their luck and, perhaps more importantly, Nimrod managed to knock my regular size cup of Babycham – all fifteen gallons of it – over the historical document this evening rendering most of it, ironically, unreadable. But, with the extract done I can offer you two things:
1: Drinks from the trolley aplenty
B: The knowledge that Mrs Jalopy is, for the time being, still safely employed
So with all that said (or just for those who sensibly skipped to the end) I shall say thanks for visiting and see you all again next time around. That should be on Sunday the 15th of October with an easy and non-spicy puzzle, though more likely it’ll be tomorrow where Vigo kicks off the Indy week in style with a lovely and very solvable puzzle.
Hope to see you there and cheers and chin chin to all. 🙂