An awful puzzle from the depraved mind of Hoskins. Due to its extremely poor taste it should not be attempted by anyone. You can find it here.
Hi all 🙂 . I found this an awfully entertaining Sunday morning romp, finishing up in the SE with GABFEST, MASSE and BLOOMERS. Fancy the bread being actual bread! Well, I had to use my loaf there, but it all came good. Biggest laughs were probably the one on the pull in 25a and the big balls in 23d. I also think that the heavy breather / good girl in 13d deserves a mention. Thanks Hoskins!
Definitions are underlined in the clues below. In the explanations, quoted indicators are in italics, explicit [deletions] are in square brackets, and I’ve capitalised and emboldened letters which appear in the ANSWER. For clarity, I omit most link words and some juxtaposition indicators.
Across
1a Kiss me French-style on the lips! (4)
MWAH
We start with a homophone: MOI (me, French style) as spoken (on the lips)
3a Naughty gal up in pad giving me the clap? (10)
APPLAUDING
An anagram of (naughty) GAL UP IN PAD
10a Head stuck between bosoms, ones we’ve all seen before? (9)
CHESTNUTS
NUT (head) inside (stuck between) CHESTS (bosoms), chestnuts meaning old hoary jokes, of course, although we’re all more used to them being well-used clues
11a Bit of leg shown by half-cut fems with revolutionary spirit (5)
FEMUR
Half of (half-cut) FEms + the reversal of (revolutionary) RUM (spirit)
12a Hound Burns initially released to get high-flyer (5)
EAGLE
[b]EAGLE (hound) with the first letter of (… initially) Burns removed (released)
14a Being old, I tense up around front of cemetery (9)
EXISTENCE
EX (old) + an anagram of (… up) I TENSE around the first letter (front) of Cemetery
15a Dutch humanist uses arm to get smacked-up (7)
ERASMUS
USES ARM is to be anagrammed (to get smacked up)
16a Mostly gag most about loud emitter of much gas? (7)
GABFEST
All but the last letter of (mostly) GAg + BEST (most) around (about) F (loud)
18a I really want flipping grass, teacher admitted (7)
DESIRER
The reversal of (flipping) REED (grass) with SIR (teacher) inserted (admitted)
20a Individual in van and I will break into wharf (7)
PIONEER
ONE (I) going inside (will break into) PIER (wharf). Van as in the forefront (short for vanguard)
22a Many blokes will swallow large, ultimately fraudulent plot (9)
ALLOTMENT
A LOT (many) and MEN (blokes) will swallow L (large), followed by the last letter of (ultimately) fraudulenT. This gives me the opportunity to introduce you all to the Alot
24a In pool, stroke inside of arm as sensitive (5)
MASSÉ
The answer is hidden inside of arM AS SEnsitive
25a One on the pull could get an erection (5)
TOWER
A double definition
26a Am I harsh to lark about around one religious teacher? (9)
MAHARISHI
AM I HARSH anagrammed (to lark) around I (one)
28a Disney? No actors messed around with it! (10)
CARTOONIST
NO ACTORS anagrammed (messed around) together with IT
29a Artist wearing Dolce & Gabbana clothing fit for a queen? (4)
DRAG
RA (artist) surrounded by (wearing) D & G (Dolce & Gabbana)
Down
1d Revolutionary picked up by comrade in chopper (7)
MACHETE
CHE (revolutionary) inside (picked up by) MATE (comrade)
2d Great service (3)
ACE
A double definition, the whole also working as a definition. (If you ask me which clue I found most offensive in this puzzle I will answer 2d, simply because I have to admit it rather underwhelmed me)
4d Souls essentially dressed in rags? (7)
PAUPERS
The middle letter of (… essentially) soUls inside (dressed in) PAPERS (rags)
5d Female avoids lewd public exposure and whipping (7)
LASHING
F (female) is not present in (avoids) [f]LASHING (lewd public exposure)
6d Incompetent fellow trapped in kitchen cupboard? (5)
UNFIT
F (fellow) trapped in UNIT (kitchen cupboard?)
7d Huge magnitude of sin? Seems men must go to hell! (11)
IMMENSENESS
SIN SEEMS MEN is to be anagrammed (must go to hell)
8d Having injected limb, chap gets bit of a habit (7)
GARMENT
With the insertion of (having injected) ARM (limb), GENT (chap)
9d Pennant-like flag rebel leader’s hid in old paddleboat? (8)
STREAMER
Rebel’s first letter (leader) inside (hid in) STEAMER (old paddleboat?)
13d At work, heavy breather is good girl on phone (5-6)
GLASS-BLOWER
G (good) + LASS (girl) + BLOWER (phone)
17d Howler monkeys finally to get some bread (8)
BLOOMERS
BLOOMER (howler) + the last letter of (… finally) monkeyS
18d Very harsh wine downed by doctor with cold (7)
DRASTIC
ASTI (wine) inside (downed by) DR (doctor) and C (cold)
19d Male saxophonist amazingly earned around million (7)
REEDMAN
An anagram of (amazingly) EARNED around M (million)
20d Large jugs not primarily required for flings (7)
PITCHES
PITCHE[r]S (large jugs) without (not) the first letter of (primarily) Required
21d Very smelly soldiers beginning to exasperate His Maj? (7)
REEKING
RE (soldiers) + the first letter of (beginning to) Exasperate) + KING (His Maj)
23d Very big balls? Heaven-sent part of the body! (5)
TORSO
OS (outsize, very big) + ROT (balls), all written backwards/upwards (heaven-sent)
27d Knight one’s taken back with rook (3)
SIR
I’S reversed (taken back) + R (rook)
Hoskins back on form today doing what Hoskins does best. A rude romp from start to finish with only 1a slowing me down as my last one in. Pity though about the ghastly American word as the answer to 16a.
My top three were 25a, 17d & 23d.
Many thanks to Hoskins and to Kitty.
I agree. Hoskins at his best. Managed to see 1a quite quickly and don’t mind 16a. PAUPERS took me the longest, for some reason.
I am not sure that I understand “masse” as a swimming stroke in 24A.
Nor do I understand how “rot” is “balls” in 23D.
Is there really such a word as “reedman” at 19D? I’m a musician so I get the clue but it’s not a word that I have ever heard before.
Finally, and I am blushing as I write this, but how is a “tower” related to an “erection” at 25A? I can see how “one on the pull” could be a reference to masturbation but I don’t know how the reference to “tower” fits in. Here, in Australia, we have the word “wanker”. Is this the Oz equivalent of “tower”?
Hi Peter. A massé isn’t a swimming stroke, it’s a stroke in pool or snooker.
Rot and balls both mean rubbish.
Is there such a word as reedman? Well, I don’t know, but Collins says so. Edit: I’ve now checked more dictionaries and reedman is in neither Chambers nor the ODE, but the SOED does have reed-man (hyphenated).
You need to think far more cleanly for tower! A building/erection and something pulling/towing.
Peter @3.
Pool in 24a refers to the game.
23d – as in “that’s a load of rot”
19d – reedman is given in Collins as real word.
25a – a tower is a building or erection.
Kitty @4 beat me to it, but at least she and I agree!
Thanks Kitty and Dave. I have never played pool so 24A was unknown to me.
I am not familiar with the word “balls” for “rubbish”.
As for 25A, well, I am mortified! I can only suppose that Kitty’s comment about the “extremely poor taste” of the crossword caused me to link “balls”, “erection”, and “one on the pull” to reflect her opinion of the result. Apologies to anyone that I may have offended.
RD @6 – Sorry! I normally leave questions for a while to give other contributors time to answer if they wish – through generosity, of course, not laziness! I’m going out soon, so the floor will be all yours.
Peter @7, please don’t be mortified. The setter has laid a cunning trap designed to do exactly what it has done! If anybody who would be offended by your comment has read down that far, well …
16a aside, which I thought was a poor clue, this was a lot of fun, liberally laden with this setter’s usual innuendo. PIONEER was a semi bung-in so thanks to our blogger for the explanation.
I really liked 1 (my LOI)10&26a plus 1,4&21d.
Many thanks to Hoskins and Kitty.
Hoskins on absolutely top form which is of course very good indeed.
Many thanks to him & Kitty
Well don’t we all enjoy a hard stiff one from Harry? Thanks kitty.
Our ‘Arry on top form today as is our reviewer – plenty of felines and Alots to keep us amused. Is there a waiting list for Alots, I’m sure I need one.
Confess that I had to phone-a-friend over 1a. I was amazed to discover that it is a recognised word – even where Chambers is concerned! Didn’t care for 16a but at least I didn’t have the same problems as Peter@3 when it came to 25a! By the way, Peter, when blokes go out ‘on the pull’ masturbation is probably the last thing on their minds!
My print-out made 11a look as though it referred to ‘half-cut ferns’ which caused a bit of confusion but I have every sympathy with the teacher who needs some ‘grass’ – I should think most of them do!
Not playing favourites today it was simply a hugely enjoyable puzzle coupled with an excellent review – well done and thank you to both Hoskins and Kitty.
Not a whit offended by such an amusing and fun crossword, impeccable cluing!
Cheered up Sunday
Thank you Hoskins and Kitty!
All good dirty fun. TOWER and GLASS BLOWER my favourites.
Very late to comment today though I was grappling with Hoskins this morning before the first birdsong! It has all been said and few will dip in at this late hour in the day but, yes, in total agreement with all above. Hoskins doing what he does best and particularly well today. A sparkling gem from top to bottom.
Thanks Hoskins and Kitty for an equally effervescent blog. Given that bloggers are occasionally criticised for giving away vital info in the first two lines, I think today’s treatment was exemplary.
Thanks Hoskins and Kitty, the best duo for Sunday entertainment. There were so many “offensive” surfaces that I plan to file a paper copy of this crossword in my greatest hits folder. I didn’t know BLOOMERS as bread and was only vaguely aware of MASSE but that didn’t spoil my fun. Top choices included APPLAUDING, CHESTNUTS, DRAG, and the &lit PAUPERS.
Many thanks to Teh Kittehz for a great blog (and intro) and to all who solved and commented.
I hope to see you all again next time around in two weeks’ time on the 23rd Oct, but until then it only remains for me to say good night and good luck to all. 🙂
Thank you Kitty for your intro. It got me in! Couldn’t resist, and amply rewarded. A hoot from start to finish.
Favourites TORSO and MWAH, and MASSÉ, which I didn’t know and was beautifully misdirected thinking of a swimming stroke. Also I knew blooper as a howler, rather than BLOOMER, and didn’t know the bread, so that threw out the intersection of those 2 clues.
Thank you Harry Hoskins. Looking forward to the 23rd.