I am filling in for Eileen again. I regularly blog the Financial Times, so it has been a while since I solved a Philistine . . .
. . . but as I progressed on today’s puzzle, I began reacquainting myself with his economical wit and style, including not one but two of the characteristic “lift-and-separate” clues, and quite a few double definitions.

| ACROSS | ||
| 1 | CARAMEL |
Sweet stuff wrapped in fancy lace (7)
|
| RAM (stuff) inside (wrapped in) anagram of (fancy) LACE | ||
| 5 | IN A MESS |
Totally out of order for soldiers to eat here (2,1,4)
|
| Double definition | ||
| 9 | ROPES |
Strings that are shown to a novice (5)
|
| Double/cryptic definition | ||
| 10 | BIG DIPPER |
Barged in at first and carelessly gripped the plough (3,6)
|
| First letters of (at first) B[ARGED] I[N] + anagram of (carelessly) GRIPPED, alternate names for the constellation | ||
| 11, 12 | THE PRESENT TIME |
Now or Christmas? (3,7,4)
|
| Double/cryptic definition | ||
| 12 |
See 11
|
|
| 14 | CORPORATION |
Firm tummy (11)
|
| Double definition | ||
| 18 | RISING COSTS |
Crisis song composed about the ultimate in rampant inflation (6,5)
|
| Anagram of (composed) {CRISIS SONG} around (about) last letter of (the ultimate in) [RAMPAN]T | ||
| 21, 22 | PEER OF THE REALM |
Look frequently in this place as lords may primarily show one of their own (4,2,3,5)
|
| PEER (look) + OFT (frequently) + HERE (in this place) + first letters of (primarily) A[S] L[ORDS] M[AY], “their” referring back to “lords” | ||
| 22 |
See 21
|
|
| 25 | OLD-TIMERS |
Grandfathers and their clocks (3-6)
|
| Double/cryptic definition | ||
| 26 | DWELT |
German newspaper that’s come out and lived (5)
|
| D[IE] WELT (German newspaper) minus (come out) I.E. (that’s) | ||
| 27 | RED CARD |
Penalty from the queen of hearts? (3,4)
|
| Double definition | ||
| 28 | ABETTER |
An improved assistant (7)
|
| A (an) + BETTER (improved) | ||
| DOWN | ||
| 1 | CURATE |
Carefully organise minister (6)
|
| Double definition | ||
| 2 | RAPIER |
Type of music that’s right for a sharp instrument (6)
|
| RAP (type of music) + I.E. (that’s) + R (right) | ||
| 3 | MOST RECENT |
Latest rent cost me terribly (4,6)
|
| Anagram of (terribly) RENT COST ME | ||
| 4 | LOBES |
Infectious Ebola on the rise, involving parts of the lung or liver (5)
|
| Hidden in (involving) [INFECTIOU]S EBOL[A] inverted (on the rise) | ||
| 5 | INGENIOUS |
Clever and honest once I replaced you, as they say (9)
|
| INGEN[U]OUS (honest) substituting (once . . . replaced) I for U (homophone of [as they say] you) | ||
| 6 | AMID |
Surrounded by the morning papers (4)
|
| AM (the morning) + ID (papers) | ||
| 7 | EXPLICIT |
Once legal proceedings start in advance, it’s clear (8)
|
| EX- (once) + first letter of (start [of]) P[ROCEEDINGS] + LICIT (legal), with “in advance” indicating the order of the last to elements | ||
| 8 | SERGEANT |
Officer material displayed by soldier (8)
|
| SERGE (material) + ANT (soldier) | ||
| 13 | CAT’S CRADLE |
Newcastle card game (4,6)
|
| Anagram of (new) CASTLE CARD, with a spacing misdirection | ||
| 15 | RICE FIELD |
Paddy’s funny intro accepted by Eric Idle after editing (4,5)
|
| First letter of (intro) F[UNNY] inside (accepted by) anagram of (after editing) {ERIC IDLE} | ||
| 16 | TRAP DOOR |
Hatchback in cross section (4,4)
|
| ROOD (cross) + PART (section) all inverted (back), with a spacing misdirection | ||
| 17 | ASCENDED |
Like Charlie was over rose (8)
|
| AS (like) + C (Charlie) + ENDED (was over) | ||
| 19, 20 | CAVEAT EMPTOR |
Lure into wine cellar and regularly savour, getting advice before purchase (6,6)
|
| TEMPT (lure) inside (into) {CAVE (wine cellar) + alternate letters of (regularly) [S]A[V]O[U]R} | ||
| 20 |
See 19
|
|
| 23 | HOSTA |
Lily Allen’s top trodden by MC (5)
|
| HOST (MC) + first letter of (top [of]) A[LLEN] | ||
| 24 | LIMA |
City protected by Kilimanjaro (4)
|
| Hidden in (protected by) [KI]LIMA[NJARO] | ||