Private Eye ( Cyclops / 827 ) Uninvited Oomph

One of those where the last one in was the first one read.  This happens all too often.
Does Cyclops make the clue to 1 Across tougher than the rest?  I doubt it.
It must be that the little grey cells need more warming up before – so I’d better do another crossword before attempting this one…
… but then what if I have the same trouble with that.  Oh dear.

Pragmatically, the clue to 1A was clearly no harder than many of the others.  It’s just the way solving goes, and this puzzle was about average – somewhere between 6 and 10 left to get after the first pass, including, as usual, the 5 shorter lights in the top left.  Of those I suggest 2 down was the toughest – toughest just to read without thinking too much about the surface reading.  Very off putting.

I thought the clues to 9D and 14D were outstanding for totally different reasons.

I had a bit of luck last weekend.  I spotted a tenner on the pavement outside the newsagent.
After I picked it up I felt a little bit guilty.  My gain is someone else’s loss.
And it was Easter I thought, “What would Jesus do?”…

Across
1 SECURE Tight arse hiding in view (6)
CUR (arse) inside SEE (view)
First one read and LOI (Last one in).
4 IMPLICIT Understood there are no bounds to simplicity (8)
[s]IMPLICIT[y] (simplicity, no bounds)
First one in. Implicit is implicit in simplicity
10 UNINVITED Being wed, concealing small bill is far from welcome (9)
INV[oice] (bill, small) inside UNITED (being wed)
Don’t conceal bills however small when you’re wed. That way you soon be not wed.
11 SAPID Jerk I had – quite tasty (5)
SAP (Jerk) I’D
Not a word I use – too easily confused with vapid.
12 NOBEL PEACE PRIZE Big shot with the Spanish treasure, keeping quiet (Trump wants it badly)(5,5,5)
PEACE (quiet) inside (kept by) NOB (Big shot) EL (the, Spanish) and PRIZE (treasure)
No <printable> comment.
13 CONDOM Rubber party act by Frenchman? (6)
CON (party) DO (act) M. (Frenchman, standard French abbreviation for Monsieur)
Makes me imagine contortionists at the Cirque du Soleil <YouTube clip thereof>
15 LENIENT Drug-taking Russian leader, ultimately bleeding-heart liberal! (7)
E (drug) in LENIN (Russian leader), then [bleeding-hear]T.
Putin must be taking loads of drugs to look that embalmed.
18 PANNIER Container to check shag’s over (7)
(REIN NAP)< (to check shag, over) NAP for shag as in shagpile.
When I was a teenager I had a lovely pair of panniers on my bike.  (They didn’t attract the girls though)
20 SCYTHE One quarter Scottish, they casually make cuts (6)
SC[ottish] (THEY)* AInd: casually.
Is this clue one quarter ethnically offensive to the Scottish?
21 SHORT AND CURLIES Bush method of taking down a dictator, not hard – “Sonofabitch is dishonest!” (5,3,7)
SHORTHAND (dictation) – H[ard] (not hard), CUR (sonofabitch) LIES (is dishonest).
Brilliant use of dictation as “method of taking down a dictator”
25 DUMBO Dope mum has ball (5)
DUMB (mum) O (a ball).
No elephants were hurt in the making of this crossword.
26 WIND CHILL Turn Conservative and rise – it’ll make you so much cooler! (4,5)
WIND (turn) C[onservative] HILL (rise).
No one thinks it’s cool to turn conservative these days.
27 SCHEDULE Bloke had to enter cryptic clues programme (8)
HE’D (Bloke had) in (CLUES)* AInd: cryptic.
Self-defining setter.
28 PRAYER Litany from Trump: “war ends!” – yeah, right! (6)
[trum]P [wa]R AYE (yeah) R[ight].
This is what everyone else in the world besides Trump is doing.
Down
1 SPURN Prick meets northern reject (5)
SPUR (Prick) N[orthern]
Is Spurn where they put the northern rejects? (Spurn Point)
2 CLIMB DOWN Tip of septic member getting blue – withdraw! (5,4)
[septi]C LIMB (member) DOWN (blue).
I’m too squeamish to contemplate the surface reading of this clue.
3 REVEL Party‘s left unceasingly arse over tip (5)
L[eft] EVER (unceasingly) all reversed (arse over tip)
Rare use of “Party” as a definition in an Eye crossword clue.
5 MEDICAL Cops turn up during dinner getting physical? (7)
CID< (cops, turn up) in MEAL (dinner).
Avoid doughnuts for dinner?
6 LAST PENNY All your remaining cash to endure ex-Tory minister? (4,5)
LAST (to endure) PENNY (ex-Tory minister, ref.  Penny Mordaunt, she of the sword)
7 CAPRI Needing to get end away, a prick set out for island (5)
(A PRIC[k])* AInd: set out.
I don’t to be thought a prick, but I hope I set out for this island one day wiki Blue_Grotto_(Capri)
8 TED HEATH Ex-PM, combination of Cruz and Bush? (3,5)
TED [Cruz] and HEATH (bush, i.e. scrubby land, outback)
Ref, Ted_Cruz.  I find “Bush” = “Heath” a bit of a stretch, so this had me looking up if there was some other miscreant called Heath Bush that I didn’t know – but I couldn’t find anyone under that name.
9 STREAM Smear fudge round testicles initially to produce flow (6)
(SMEAR)* AInd: fudge, around T[esticles] !!
Top clue for the appallingly rude surface meaning
14 DRIFTWOOD Break by court, between two dates, which goes with the flow (9)
RIFT (Break) WOO (court) inside D and D (two dates) !!
And another top clue to follow.  Very satisfying to parse the wordplay.
16 ETHNICITY Ballsed up in the large community race (9)
(IN THE)* AInd: Ballsed up, CITY (large community).
What is “in” doing? It is not part of the wordplay and the clue would work without it.
17 EPISODES Experiences beginning of individuality in kinky speedos (8)
(I[ndividuality] SPEEDOS)* AInd: kinky.
Aren’t all speedos kinky?
19 RENEWAL Kiss of life helps to get Irene waltzing (7)
Hidden in IRENE WALtzing
Flashbacks to Soames Forstyte in black & white
20 SECOND Mo‘s back (6)
Double Def.
Here’s hoping
22 OOMPH Balls and member hard – that’s vigour! (5)
OO (Balls) MP (member) H[ard]
One of Cyclops’s favourite grid words
23 RECUR Come again on meeting bastard (5)
RE (on) CUR (bastard)
And another
24 SOLAR Sun-originated, maybe also Republican (5)
(ALSO)* AInd: maybe, R[epublican]
Workmanlike clue.

… so I turned it into wine.

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