Private Eye (Cyclops / 800) Eight Hundred Cyclops Cross Words

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After last week’s teasing “nearly” eight hundred tucked away in the perimeter unches, Cyclops makes no bones about it and we find EIGHT HUNDRED CYCLOPS CROSS WORDS in clear among the across answers.

What an achievement that is.  That’s about 31 years toiling over a hot grid.  He must’ve been a youngster when he started.  Private Eye has form in that way, after all Ian Hislop was only about 8 when he became editor as I recall.

It was the Eye Crossword that first got me into solving cryptics.  I remember attempting them with a schoolfriend when we were about 14 – mainly because they were such a laugh even if you couldn’t get many answers, which of course we couldn’t.  So we kept previous issues to check the answers – and so the slippery slope of crossword addiction grabbed us.  Also the ridiculous habit of never throwing away old Eyes – as I write this various stacks in various boxes in the study/office room I’m now in attest.   Of course it wasn’t Cyclops back then (or was it?) .  Nevertheless Cyclops has kept to the brief and provided us with hilarious smut for decades.  Suitable for schoolkids of all ages.

So I say thank you Cyclops for all of it and here’s to the next 800.

In keeping with the theme of remembering times past I have put a joke at the end that only the aged amongst us will understand.  <evil chuckle>

Across
1 SLITHER Cut the woman’s slinky move! (7)
SLIT (cut) HER (the woman’s)
5 GOLLY Goodness comes from a lot of money, money initially lacking (5)
G[rand] (a lot of money) [l]OLLY (money, initially lacking)
8 SACRAMENTO City: “Cameron’s at variance” (10)
(CAMERON’S AT)* AInd: variance.  First One In.
10 EIGHT Crew relieving wife from burden (5)
[w]EIGHT (burden, from which W[ife] relieved)
11 HUNDRED Under-performing during hot date causing division (7)
(UNDER)* AInd: performing, inside H[ot] D[ate].
A Hundred (Wiki)  is a historic division of a county
13 CAULDRON NRA could after shifting pot (8)
(NRA COULD)* AInd: after shifting.
16 PIFFLE Rubbish females breaking into store (6)
FF (females) in PILE (store).
Always makes me think of “Balderdash & Piffle”
18 STIR UP Having erection after can cause trouble (4,2)
STIR (can, as in prison) UP (having erection)
20 TEMERITY Still flipping crushing virtue? Sheer recklessness! (8)
MERIT (virtue) inside YET< (still, flipping)
22 CYCLOPS City centre’s gone (Conservative cuts) – that’ll do for me (7)
C[it]Y, C[onservative], LOPS (cuts)
25 CROSS Mad – which shows there’s something wrong (5)
Double Def.  A wrong answer gets a cross instead of a tick
27 FLAW Crack: “F— the police!” (4)
F, LAW (the police)
29 EGOCENTRIC Say Republican’s constrained by rampant conceit, just like Trump (10)
EG (say), then R[epublican] inside (CONCEIT)* AInd: rampant.
30 WORDS Angry talk when doctor shafts pig – perverse! (5)
DR (doctor) inside (shafts) SOW< (pig, perverse)
31 ETERNAL Going on and on about temperature, er, in back passage (7)
T[emperature] ER in LANE< (passage, back)
Down
1 SKATE Start to screw royal to cut the ice, so to speak (5)
S[crew] KATE (royal)
2 IRREGULAR One resistance soldier not giving a shit routinely? (9)
I (one) R[esistance] REGULAR (soldier)
Sounds like someone’s been mixing up the Senokot and Imodium
3 HAMSTER Bit of thigh and rest’s disturbed, pet? (7)
HAM (bit of thigh) (REST)* AInd: disturbed.
4 RANCH Bishop’s dropped from office – source of beef? (5)
[b]RANCH (office, B[ishop] dropped)
5 GROWN-UP Great to admit it’s a big ‘un (5-2)
GR[eat] OWN-UP (to admit)
6 LONER Solitary unit between political extremes? (5)
ONE (unit) inside L[eft] R[ight] (political extremes?)
Not sure this clue needs the “?” unless you consider Left and Right as not particularly extreme.
For extremes I suppose we would say the far-left and the Putin-Trump coalition
12 DELFT China was the first to back capitalist newspaper (5)
LED< (was the first, to back) FT (capitalist newspaper)
14 ANTIC Trick action misfired – missing a ball (5)
(ACTION – O)* AInd: misfired.
15/7 NOT YET Tony’s lost the plot finally? So far, no (3,3)
(TONY’S)* AInd: lost, [plo]T.
Edit: (TONY)* AInd: lost, [th]E [plo]T.
Whereas this clue would suit me better by having “So far? No”
17 FORGOTTEN Ignored, in disbelief – or got tense (9)
Hidden in disbelieF – OR GOT TENse
19 PROCESS Action: corpses everywhere (7)
(CORPSES)* AInd: everywhere.
Grim
21 MACHETE Have sex, wrapping chain on top of erect chopper (7)
CH[ain] E[rect] inside MATE (have sex)
23 COWER Cringe about Bercow going topless (5)
([b]ERCOW)* AInd: about.
24 SCORE Get to shag in Number ten – twice (5)
Double Def. 10+10=20 (= score)
26 SKILL Technique in opening of skimpy top (5)
S[kimpy] KILL (top) Last One In
28/9 LOW NOTE New ‘tool’ – sadly on which the finish is disappointing (3,4)
(NEW TOOL)* AInd: sadly.

When I was a kid, I got a peanut stuck in my ear.
It’s alright.
My mum got it out by pouring in some chocolate.
It came out a treat.

23 comments on “Private Eye (Cyclops / 800) Eight Hundred Cyclops Cross Words”

  2. Not just “EIGHT HUNDRED CROSS WORDS” in the across answers, but “EIGHT HUNDRED CYCLOPS CROSS WORDS”

  4. After having been confounded by the “almost” 800 last time, I then completely forgot about the anniv with this one.
    Those poor setters: they go to all that trouble to be fiendishly clever and then the likes of me plod through without even noticing.
    CYCLOPS, DELFT & SCORE made me grin, FORGOTTEN was neatly hidden.
    Thank you Cyclops and hearty congrats on the anniversary; thanks also to beermagnet (I’m old enough to remember Treats)

  7. Thanks for the blog , I was on the alert for this after the warning last time . Great milestone , has it always been the same setter ?
    Lots of good clues , I will join Wellbeck@4 in praising FORGOTTEN , hard to hide a word like this .
    Your joke needs a homophone indicator , it would be fine spoken out loud . They were TREETS , or certainly were in the 1980s .

  8. Last time’s anniversary ‘tease’ was a mistake- an early abandoned attempt that somehow got incorporated into Cyclops 799.
    All of the 800 puzzles are mine, though there was a Private Eye setter many years before me, ‘Tiresias’. This was the pseudonym of the Labour MP and colourful character Tom Driberg. His clues seem to have been as ‘libertarian’ as his public persona. I’m afraid my persona is just plain dull.
    Thanks for your kind words – I’m really chuffed about my role in getting you into cryptics, beermagnet!

  9. BTW, in the interests of symmetry, the message reads:
    ………………..GOLLY
    EIGHT HUNDRED
    CYCLOPS CROSS
    WORDS

  10. Looks like we all missed the GOLLY, despite the obvious symmetry! I remember in the late 60s/early 70s, my parents didn’t take Private Eye, such a “Scurrilous magazine, not suitable for children”, but they did take the Manchester Guardian, which one day had an article about Private Eye. When the article got to the crossword, they gave a sample clue that was just about considered fit to print in a family newspaper: “Sexy little Churchill (5)” Answer – RANDY. When the Guardian asked who was the crossword setter, Private Eye’s editor replied, “The setter is a leading churchman, and naturally wishes to remain anonymous.” I never knew it was Tom Driberg. Of course as soon as I grew up, I started taking Private Eye, and have done ever since.

  11. I was going to comment that I’d included golly but by getting here late I notice Cyclops and others have already confirmed that. Thanks for the blog beermagnet and to Cyclops for all the enjoyable crosswords. A pal introduced me to the Private Eye crossword a couple of years ago, my first ever cryptic and I’ve been doing them ever since. I even managed to be lucky enough to win the £100 for one of my entries. 😁

  12. Golly indeed , well done Cyclops , 800 in a row is some going .
    I do not know about Tom Driberg except much later his name came up in all the spy stuff when Anthony Blunt was exposed .

  13. Generally miss the overview until I start trawling the blogs. My routine has become to go down t’ library and photocopy the pe xwd if no one has nicked it and send in the solution in the vain hope of winning the prize but most of the time I don’t catch the closing date. No mind cos I love the way Cyclops obeys the rules challengingly but inserts the political spin and a healthy dose of lewdness most amusingly. Compile on cycle on go on go on have a . . .

  14. Congratulations Cyclops and thanks for providing excellent clues with large dollops of humour.
    Thanks also to beermagnet. I have a handful of Private Eyes from the 70s. I didn’t attempt them at the time as a teenager. Here’s a random clue.
    Crossword 121 25 Jan 74 set by Tiresias
    21A “Sounds like Pope’s Belinda did a concubine (8)”.
    I’ve got the solution from the next edition +1 but had to do a bit of googling to understand it. Any takers?

  17. Roz @16. Well done, Roz. Spot on! I didn’t know the poem myself and had just heard of the name Pope but knew nothing about him.

  18. Thank you for all the entertainment over the years Cyclops.
    Always enjoyable although finding some of your British politicians can be a struggle from this distance. Here’s to many more.

  19. Franko@17 , The Rape of the Lock , old meaning of rape as steal , Belinda has locks of her hair stolen and in crosswords we all know that hair=tress .

  20. As usual I never saw the (obvious) NINA, thanks beermagnet.
    When I attempted my 1st PE Xword the setter was Tiresias. There was quite a long gap before Cyclops took on the challenge. I never knew he was Tom Driberg.
    COD 30a Words; it was the thought of the doctor shafting a sow backwards that made me LOL.
    Thanks to beermagnet and Cyclops.

  22. Gosh is it really that long ago? I well remember when Cyclops sent in some sample puzzles (the Eye having been crosswordless since the death of Driberg). Ian Hislop, who had never done a cryptic crossword in his life, handed the samples to me (his crossword-loving deputy) and asked for an opinion. I thought they were great – and utterly distinctive, with a smattering of smut that you wouldn’t find in other publications but that would have gladdened Tom Driberg’s heart. “OK,” said Ian. “I’ll take your word for it. Let’s run a few and see how they go.”
    All these years later, I’d say they’re going very well indeed. Bravo, Cyclops!

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