Private Eye (Cyclops/743) – Max Headroom Writes

Here we are again with the big one.  The Xmas special
The one that takes a very long time to finish because there are so many clues.

This crossword has a preamble:
Running clockwise around the shaded squares, starting top left, is an extract (with a minor omission) from one of our 'Keir Starmer Writes' features.
The 55 letters of this entry not crossing with normal solutions are:
A A A A A B C C D E E E E E E E H H I I I I L L N N O O O O O O O O P P R R R S S S S S T T T T U U U W W W Y

When I attempted it, I was interrupted after about an hour (I hadn’t even attempted all the clues) and did not get back to it until the following day.
In truth no single clue was tremendously difficult but because of the special nature of the perimeter, there are spots where there are fewer crossing letters than usual.  This particularly affects the corners, and  the shorter clues therein, for instance 70A and 71D, both 5 letters, had only 1 checked letter each on my grid till after I got that part of the perimeter message.

The perimeter was teased out throughout the solve.  Some words and phrases were apparent early on, such as PARTY, and I had an inkling of what it was going to say.  Stating the source of the text in the crossword’s preamble perhaps gave away too much?
Mind you it wasn’t till after I had completed it I found I had the last word entered wrong – quite early I had put POLITICS up the left hand side instead of POLICIES – it fits but didn’t use the correct “extra letters” as given in the preamble.  I very nearly didn’t check the list of non-crossing letters because everything looked OK.
I haven’t gone searching through old Eye issues to identify the one this message comes from.  The stack of old issues and other periodicals in the corner of my “office” has grown particularly haphazardly the past couple of years and is in a state of astonishing disorder.  Just finding Eye issues from 2022 would take some time.  But I distinctly remember this “quote”, in fact I suspect I have read this or something very similar more than once since Keir took over.

Here is the complete perimeter answer:

We in the Labour party have got to show we are a serious party which doesn't have populist policies or indeed popular policies

Cracker Joke:
What’s green and not very heavy?

Across
13 SMALL BEER A half trifle? (5,4)
Double Def.  A half pint and a matter of little importance
14 INSULIN US in trouble with nothing to reverse hormone regulator (7)
(US IN)* AInd: trouble, NIL< (nothing, reversed)
15 MATRIARCH Head female Republican with stupid air entering contest (9)
R[epublican) (AIR)* AInd: stupid, all inside (entering) MATCH (contest)
16 INTERFERING Intrusive Bury gang pinching iron (11)
INTER (bury) RING (gang) around (pinching) FE (iron)
17 REHEARSAL About Sarah Palin’s centre criminally hoarding energy for a dry run (9)
RE (about) (SARAH [pa]L[in])* AInd: criminally, around (hoarding) E[nergy]
18/25 THROW OUT Dispose of the endless argument, having declared yourself gay? (5,3)
TH[e] (the, endless) ROW (argument) OUT (declared yourself gay)
19 INEPT Awkward feature of bent penis (when withdrawn) (5)
Hidden reversed (feature of … when withdrawn) from inside benT PENIs
(There’s a joke about that – something about not knowing if you’re coming or going)
21 SAN JOSE Place in California very big in tight jeans (3,4)
OS (very big, Over Size) inside (JEANS)* AInd: tight.
22 WHOLE CABOODLE Everything available and working below head? Cool! (5,8)
(BELOW HEAD COOL)* AInd: working.
26 ANTHRAX One form of HRT with a kiss – it’s infectious (7)
AN (one) (HRT)* AInd: form of, then A X (a kiss)
29 TAYLOR Swift verdict finally on corrupt royal? (6)
[verdic]T then (ROYAL)* AInd: corrupt. Def. is a reference to Taylor Swift
30 STRIPPER Peeler securing second drug user (8)
S[econd] TRIPPER (drug user)
33 RICOTTA Cheesy fare: spread round bed it’s secured by artist (7)
RA (artist) around IT around COT (bed)
34 SHADOWY Gloomy as Starmer & co (7)
Double Def. one a bit cryptic referring to Keir Starmer leading the opposition shadow cabinet
36 SPORTS ARENA Wembley shows live? Not available (6,5)
SPORTS (shows) ARE (live) N[ot] A[vailable]
38 LEMUR Primate has English character splitting sides (5)
E[nglish] MU (character, greek mu) inside LR (sides, Left & Right)
40 PURIST Place occupied by perverse knight, a nit-picker (6)
SIR< (knight, perverse so reversed) inside PUT (place)
41 GNOMIC Like our proprietor‘s coming out? (6)
(COMING)* AInd: out. The Eye’s nominal proprietor is Lord Gnome, thus “Gnomic”
42 OUTLINE Main points of public row (7)
OUT (public) LINE (row)
44 PRESTON King interrupts TV pundit: “It’s a place up North” (7)
R (King, R[ex]) inside PESTON (TV pundit, ref. Robert Peston)
46 INFORM Playing well? Sing! (6)
IN FORM (playing well).  Definition refers to treacherously ratting on your associates
48 THRUSH American arse crushes small time singer (6)
TUSH (American arse) around HR (hour, small time).  Thrushes are, of course, big time singers.
50 CORGI Get a load of that soldier, one whose mistress has departed? (5)
COR! (“Get a load of that!”) GI (soldier).  Dry y’tears, the remaining two dogs are now with Randy Andy and Sarah Ferguson
52 POSSESSIONS Property so pisses son off (11)
(SO PISSES SON)* AInd: off.
53 EMERALD Mail initially shafts leader turning green (7)
(M[ail] inside LEADER)* AInd: turning.
54 CARIBOU Reindeer transport needed with British in debt (7)
CAR (transport) B[ritish] inside IOU (debt)
56 EXPOSURE After bungled sex op, rock star gets unwelcome publicity? (8)
(SEX OP)* AInd: bungled, [Midge] URE (rock star)
58 BLOWER Phone oral sex exponent (6)
Double Def. One which I use quite a lot myself, and which I think of as Cockney slang but it is not some sort of contraction of an earlier rhyming slang.  Before the first electric phones, one step up from empty cans on a string, there were speaking tubes where you blow down initially to make the other end whistle to attract attention.
60 SURGEON Theatre worker‘s child “invaded” by press (7)
URGE (press) inside SON (child).  I think I’ve seen this cryptic def. so often I will be stumped if ever it refers to an actual stage manager or similar.
62 AMP Truss briefly against a perverse Speaker (3)
(PM A)< (Truss briefly, +A, all reversed).  Last clue answered.  It took a long time to understand this wordplay.
<pedant mode on> A Hi-Fi buff would regard a Speaker and an Amp as very different
64 DRESSED TO KILL Was an attention-seeker wearing combat clothes? (7,2,4)
Def + Cryptic Def.  A metaphorical definition and a literal (cryptic) definition
66 PACIFIC The main pressure on a Conservative if international crisis starts (7)
P[ressure] A C[onservative] IF I[nternational] C[risis]
69 TAKER Grasping type Kate hooked heir finally (5)
(KATE)* AInd: hooked, [hei]R
70 IDEAL Fancy Labour’s leader as a model? (5)
IDEA (fancy) L[abour]
72 VALUATION A viola tune virtually ‘murdered’, for what it’s worth (9)
(A VIOLA TUN[e])* AInd: murdered.  My musical friend tells me it is usually the violas that murder the tune.
74 BUREAUCRACY Furniture item at college, slightly shocking — that’s officialdom for you (11)
BUREAU (furniture item) C[ollege] RACY (slightly shocking)
76 ON IMPULSE Noel, Oasis, finally I’m up for screwing without a thought (2,7)
(NOEL [oasi]S I’M UP)* AInd: for screwing.  Surely it’s not that there is no thought but that there is only one, obsessive, compulsive, thought…  What would be required is a second thought.  (I’m not suggestion the clue’s wrong, we all know what is meant)
77 ALGARVE Holiday area‘s seaweed-draped motor home (7)
RV (motor home) in ALGAE (seaweed)
78 ILL HEALTH Condition of evil ex-PM hogging line (3,6)
ILL (evil) HEATH (ex-PM) around L[ine]
Down
1 INAUTHENTIC Ethnic unit, a damned “fake!” (11)
(ETHNIC UNIT, A)* AInd: Damned.  First clue attempted and solved.  Had me fiddling with the letters of UNIT A DAMNED to make something “ethnic” at first.  As soon as I realised what was being anagrammed the answer leapt out.
2 TILER Worker engaging leftie leader in row (5)
L[eftie] inside TIER (row)
3 EYELESS So no views without your regular reading matter? (7)
Def. and Cryptic Def. referring to this magazine as the Eye
4 ARRAIGNER One publicly accusing Reagan, I moved to trap Republican right (9)
(REAGAN I R[epublican] R[ight])* AInd: moved.
5 OWING TO As a result of side and top of thigh being wedged between balls (5,2)
WING (side) T[high] inside O & O (between balls)
6 RESURRECTION Comeback Roger’ having woeful intercourse (12)
R[oger] (INTERCOURSE)* AInd: woeful.
7 ALL THE WAY Apathetic local leaders, getting disgustingly wealthy – completely (3,3,3)
A[pathetic] L[ocal], (WEALTHY)* AInd: disgustingly.
8 TONGA Washington gaffe: employing remote kingdom (5)
Hidden inside washingTON GAffe
9 HEMPSEED Notice about Westminster occupants needing energy: ‘Here’s some bird food!’ (8)
HEED (notice) around MPS (Westminster occupants) and E[nergy]
10 VITAL PART Essential element of a TV trial broadcast about ‘End of Trump’ (5,4)
(A TV TRIAL)* AInd: broadcast, around [trum]P
11 GUILT Belly holds one litre? It makes you feel ashamed (5)
I L[itre] inside GUT (belly)
12 TURN RED Become a leftie and look embarrassed (4,3)
Double Def.
20 TRAITOR Blunt feature associated with love rat initially? (7)
TRAIT (feature) O (love) R[at]
23 OPOSSUM Beastly thing‘s work gets outstanding amount (7)
OP (work) OS (outstanding) SUM (amount)
24 OXIDANT Nixon a tad befuddled, not an agent for substance change (7)
(NIXON A TAD -AN (not an))* AInd: befuddled.
27 TRAPPINGS Member gets up with electronic sounds, bells and whistles (9)
PART< (Member, gets up) PINGS (electronic sounds)
28 X-RAYS They reveal the bones of Sun’s output after vote (1-4)
X (vote) RAYS (Sun’s output)
31 PREMIER Sunak‘s first showing lacks energy (7)
PREMIER[e] (first showing – (lacks) E[nergy])
32/51 YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP Ouch! Dud piano player or replacement —it’s so quiet (3,5,4,1,3,4)
(OUCH DUD PIANO PLAYER OR)* AInd: replacement.
34 SURVIVOR One who got through virus spread by very old codger, finally (8)
(VIRUS V[ery] O[ld])* AInd: spread, [codge]R
35 YANK American jerk … (4)
Double Def.
37 TOOTHACHE moreover, that endless revolutionary pain (9)
TOO THA[t] CHE (revolutionary, ref. Che Guevara )
39 MEETS UP Gathers, from the radio, beef’s costing more? (5,2)
Homophone “Meats up” HInd: on the radio.
43 TRUE Donald ditches politician initially exclaiming “Not fake!” (4)
TRUMP (Donald) – MP (politician, ditched) then E[xclaiming]
45 TRESSES Emphasises Truss at last is gone — shock! (7)
[s]TRESSES (Emphasises, – [trus]S)
47 FUSILLI Fellow with Private Eye has bad Italian starter (pasta) … (7)
F[ellow] US (Private Eye) ILL (bad) I[talian]
49 HEAPS lots (he’s having to down a pint) (5)
A P[int] in HE’S
50 CORONET “Right, you,” (as Brian would put it) “into bed for a royal topping!” (7)
R[ight] ONE (you, as spoke royally) inside COT (bed)
55 BLACKBALLED Jet shouted out loud “Ostracized!” (11)
BLACK (jet) BALLED “bawled” (shouted, homophone Indicator: out loud)
57 REDEVELOP Knock down then build up old Veep? Er …stupid! (9)
(OLD VEEP ER)* AInd: stupid.
59 WELLING UP My gin cocktail finished, going to cry (7,2)
WELL (My!) (GIN)* AInd: cocktail UP (finished)
61 REFURBISH Do up match official with brutish maltreatment – “Time out!” (9)
REF (match official) (BRUTISH -T[ime])* AInd: maltreatment.
63 GOALLESS Failed to score? Aim lower! (8)
GOAL (aim) LESS (lower)
65 ELEGIAC Hirsute leg, I accept, is somewhat sad (7)
Hidden in hirsutE LEG I ACcept
67 CABLE TV Programme provider gives Conservative fit – Morduant’s ultimate victory (5,2)
C[onservative] ABLE (fit) [morduan]T V[ictory]
68 CHAPLIN Comic‘s place in China’s revolution (7)
PL[ace] inside (CHINA)* AInd: revolution.
71 LAPEL Clumsy type entering local boundaries, possibly button-holed (5)
APE (clumsy type) inside L and L from L[oca]L
73 AVAIL Benefit is a cover-up it’s said (5)
“A VEIL” HInd: it’s said.
75 CREPE Material kept under wraps by Dacre, personally (5)
Hidden in daCRE PErsonally

Cracker Joke answer:  Light green

I inflict this cracker joke on you because we had a very nice set of crackers on the table this Christmas Day, totally ethically sourced, no plastic used, decent gifts inside (e.g. bottle opener key ring, dice game etc.) and screamingly expensive – BUT THEY ALL HAD THE SAME JOKE INSIDE !

I fear the joke was on us.

23 comments on “Private Eye (Cyclops/743) – Max Headroom Writes”

  1. Thanks for the blog and Happy New Year, although actually perihelion is January 4th.
    I too find these a bit of a chore just from the sheer number of clues, I did not bother with the perimeter . The clues were pretty good, a lot of anagrams and a bit tamer than usual I think . RESURRECTION my favourite
    BLOWER thanks for the extra information , did not know the origin, I still use the term for our 1950s green bakelite GPO phone that actually rings.
    Speaker=AMP hmmm I won’t even start.

  2. I didn’t get my copy of the mag until 31st December, which also happened to be the closing date for entries for the crossword. Chiz. Will have to come back to finish this one later, but just popping in to register thanks to Cyclops for this and all his puzzles throughout the year, and of course to beermagnet for all the splendid blogs.

  3. I mostly enjoyed this but I’m beginning to think you can have too much of a good thing with these giant festive puzzles.

    I hesitated a while before entering AMP but in the end it couldn’t be anything else. Definitely a raised eyebrow but in a puzzle with so many clues, this is to be expected.

    Thanks Cyclops and beer magnet.

  4. To Roz’s favourite,
    I’ll add EYELESS, GNOMIC, SHADOWY, BLOWER and THRUSH.
    First time I’ve tried the Eye’s jumbo Christmas puzzle so I enjoyed the novelty of it over a few short, sharp sallies.
    The perimeter message fell into place more quickly than the contents but then, as has been observed, the grid was not lacking in clues!
    Most were accessible and fair in the parsing. HEAPS was the one which held out on me the longest, only finally making sense when I had the ‘h’ of the somewhat elusive THRUSH.
    Thanks to Cyclops for the considerable energy poured into crafting this and to Beermagnet for the stamina required to blog it.

  5. 69ac Are crossword clues actionable in libel? I’m no fan of the royals, but surely, it’s wrong to describe the Duchess of Cambridge like this?

    77ac I guessed ALGARVE, but had trouble parsing it as I thought the seaweed must be AGAR at first and didn’t know RV (recreational vehicle?)

    20dn Blunt confessed in 1964, ffs! Is he still infamous enough to be the definition of a traitor? Happily, I’m old enough to remember.

    28dn Off-topic, but I’m reminded of what must be one of the best clues of 2022, from Maskarade: “X-rays girders (10)“.

    63dn Cruel

  6. Nice work – thanks, beermagnet (and Cyclops) – back to the normal size ones now, for another year! I had a similar faux pas with hastily writing in POLITICS at the end of the perimeter, and I also lazily bunged in UNAUTHENTIC instead of INAUTHENTIC. These meant a fairly painstaking check through the extra letters until the errors of my ways were revealed!

    Widdersbel at #2 – if your paper copy is late, you can always download the latest puzzle at
    https://www.private-eye.co.uk/sections.php?section_link=crossword
    It is usually updated on the Friday morning after Wednesday publication, and can be downloaded to use in AcrossLite, or I sometimes copy/paste the grid and clues into a Word doc, and then print it off once it all fits on a page…

  7. Happy New Year! Thanks beermagnet for this and all your blogs during the year. Thanks also to Cyclops and mc-rapper67.
    I liked the cheekiness of 15a. I also marked 27d and 39d as favourites.
    On my copy, I had written “Roger =R?”, an abbreviation I hadn’t come across. Is it to do with ‘Roger over and out’ and so on?
    I always keep the current year’s copies of Private Eye until Christmas so I can deal with the perimeter.
    By coincidence, mc_rapper67 had given a list of synonyms for pedantic in the blog for 742 and purist stuck in my mind, which proved very useful for 40a.

  8. Franko@7, haha! Yes, those synonyms were aimed at me and ‘purist’ was the one I liked best!

    (Still waiting for Ken to clear my original comment here, which is on hold due to the number of embedded links.)

  9. Frank@7, re Roger, yes, I think it is a double jump: ‘Roger’ in radio comms stands for ‘received’ and R can be an abbreviation for that word … although not that well attested: it’s in two of the lists of American abbreviations in Collins online.

  10. Tony@8 & @9. Thanks Tony re ‘Roger’. It’s probably not possible to solve Cyclops’s puzzles without being at least a bit of a purist.

  11. Tony! I found I could approve your comment that was on hold, after validating all the links 😉
    It has come in as #6 above
    I don’t remember having that capability before but I suppose it’s because it is a blog wot I wrote.

    Is one of the Royal Family called Kate? Who knew?

  12. Thanks, beermagnet. I always thought it was Admin that cleared linky comments, but maybe it’s been part of the blogger’s duties all along? Anyway, hoping Ken is well.

    Franko@11, purists will generally be very happy with Cyclops’ work, although you have highlighted a clue where there could be misgivings from some, due to the ‘double jump’ of Roger to r. to ‘received’ (especially as the abbreviation is not universally acknowledged). In fact I didn’t notice it at the time, or I might have lived up to the label stuck on me and mentioned it in comments.

  13. The Able, baker, charlie, dog alphabet, in which the R is Roger was first used by US forces in 1941 and adopted by UK forces soon after. It was still in use, I think, when I was in the school cadet force, but might have had an indicator of its age for younger solvers?
    This is my first attempt at a Cyclops and it’s probably unfair to judge him on a Jumbo, though I’m familiar with his alter ego, Brummie.. I agree with Roz that Jumbos are a bit of a chore, see esp this year’s Guardian puzzle.

  14. Hello everybody. First time here. I was pleasantly surprised to compete this as I’m an amateur.

    I couldn’t for the life of me parse PACIFC from ‘the main. The main ocean ?

    And I don’t like ARE = LIVE.

    Some of the clues don’t really scan at all but all good fun, and many thanks to the blogger !

    Cheers

  15. @Nicos: ‘main’ is an antiquated word for any sea or ocean and is a regular staple of Cyclops puzzles, so as soon as I see it I think the answer is likely to be the name of a body of water.

  16. Nicos@17, IS = EXISTS = LIVES. Of course, not everything that IS, LIVES (inanimate objects, concepts), but everything that LIVES, IS!

    Which clues did you think don’t ‘scan’? And what do you mean by that, exactly?

  17. Thanks for an instructive blog….. I wouldn’t consider myself too much of a hifi techie but I have to insist that an amp is certainly not a speaker (62 ac.) The clue is incorrect, but the answer is obvious.

  18. Thanks for the blog! I really enjoyed this crossword over Christmas – plenty to keep coming back to for a slow solver like me.
    I got TRAITOR and EXPOSURE from the clue/crossers but had to look up BLUNT and URE to verify – never heard of either.
    I’m still confused on shock=TRESSES. I presume this is “shock of hair”? But I’ve never seen shock=hair on its own (ie without the “… of hair” bit also).
    Agree with others that an AMP is not a speaker but it was clearly the reflected answer.

  19. Regarding the ‘purists’ who point out that an AMP is not a speaker, try googling ‘guitar amp’ you will find a lot of links to devices to which you can send a signal which will be amplified and then broadcast from a built-in speaker. These devices are also often referred to as ‘speakers’, as in “don’t stand to close to the speakers or you’ll damage your hearing”. See https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guitar_amplifier for full details of these devices.

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